Wrong timing
by ECgekko
Summary: Lock down. But what happens when Arizona and Callie are not on the same floor? Will they still have the chance to sort out their problems after everything that happens?
1. Part I

**A/N:** This is the first part of this story. I have some other parts already written, but I'm not publishing them yet, because I am not completely happy with them yet. I hope you enjoy reading.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

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**Wrong timing**

Part I

_**Mark's POV**_

Callie stepped next to me with an annoyed and sad look. "Ugh, I hate this lock down. I was supposed to have three surgeries today and now I am stuck here in the lobby", she whined, putting her head on the counter.

I looked up from my chart and watched her intently. She didn't look like herself anymore. The fire from her eyes was gone and her shoulders were slumped down in defeat. I hated to see her like that.

"Are you okay?", I asked compassionately. I knew she was not okay. After her break up with Arizona she had been like a zombie, just walking around and doing her job without showing any emotions.

"Yeah, I just need some distraction to get my mind off of Arizona for at least a little while. You know, surgeries would have been good, but thanks to that lockdown...", she started rambling.

I looked back at my chart, only listening to her half heartily. I knew what she was going through and I wish I could help her, but most of the time my own mind was occupied by another blonde. I told Lexie that I was still in love with her, but she didn't want to hear it.

Speaking of Lexie. She was making her way over to us and asking me to sign something.

"Lock down", I changed the subject without looking at her, "kind of crazy, right? You think it's.. uh.. serious?"

"Can you just sign the.."

I interjected again. "Is this Karev thing serious?"

"Mark!", her voice was getting more serious. Callie had stopped whining and paid more attention to our conversation.

I finally looked at Lexie. "I miss you", I told her genuinely.

"Can you just sign the order?", she asked, or rather ordered, slightly annoyed.

I looked back at the chart with no intention of signing the order, while a nurse told some guy, who wanted to leave, to stay here because of the lock down.

Callie got up and made her way towards Lexie to sign her form, as the guy suddenly pulled out a gun, aimed at the nurse and pulled the trigger.

_**Callie's POV**_

I had gotten up from my place on the counter to sign Lexie's order. This lock down thing didn't really strike me as serious or even alarming. I thought it was some kind of exercise and didn't even pay attention to the guy, who was trying to leave the lobby.

Suddenly I heard two shots. Instantly people started screaming and running around. Mark grabbed Lexie and pulled her down behind the counter. Completely shocked I stared at the gunman, then at the nurse, who was now lying at my feet.

The third shot brought me out of my shock and I let myself collapse on the floor to get out of the way. Right next to me Mark was covering Lexie, who tried to make her way to the shot nurse.

"No, no, no", Lexie's voice was high. "She's dead, she's dead."

Mark grabbed Lexie with one hand and me with the other to get us away from here. I had no idea where the gunman was, so I blindly followed my best friend. People were still running around, screaming and panicking.

_**Mark's POV**_

When I realized that Callie was following me, I let go of her hand and shielded Lexie with both of mine. We made our way through the panicking people to the elevator. I desperately punched the button, willing it to hurry.

"Come on! Come on!", I screamed, the only thought in my head was to get Lexie as far away from here as possible.

As the doors finally opened I wish we had taken the stairs.

_**Lexie's POV**_

Someone had just been shot right in front of me. I was in shock, hardly taking in my surroundings. As a doctor I have seen people die, but nothing compared to what I just had witnessed.

Gladly Mark was there to pull me away from the dead nurse. As I heard the sound that announced the arrival of an elevator I was brought out of my shock. I let go of Mark, ready to step into the saving elevator, but as the doors opened I stopped dead in my tracks.

Right there in front of us was Alex, lying in blood and not moving. I stumbled, Mark still had a hold of me, which prevented me from falling down.

_**Callie's POV**_

"Get in the elevator!", I ordered and pushed them in. Even if Alex was lying there, it was probably the only safe way away from here.

Lexie clung onto Mark, as they entered the elevator, I followed quickly, allowing the doors to close.

I let out a small breath I didn't realize I was holding. We were safe from the gunman, at least for now.

I leaned over Alex and checked his pulse. It was week, but it was there. I signed relieved. "He's alive", I told a completely distraught Lexie.

Checking his side, I saw a bullet hole to his chest. "We need to get him out of here", I told Mark.

The elevator made it's way to the second floor and away from the shooter. As the doors opened I carefully peeked outside, while Mark picked up Alex, earning a painful moan from the young surgeon.

Taking Lexie by her hand and leading her out of the elevator I made my way to an empty conference room. Mark heaved Alex on the table, while I went back to get some medical supplies from one of the closets.

The hallways were deserted. Every sound made my heart pound a little faster. But there was no one here, I tried to tell myself. I had seen the shooter making his way upstairs, and we were downstairs. But still, I couldn't help but feel paranoid, which also made me feel a little dizzy and weightless. This could also be due to the adrenalin pumping through my veins.

When I got back Alex was conscious. I can't even begin to imagine the kind of pain he must be in right now. He growled some words, but in my ears the blood was pumping too loudly now to understand him.

_**Mark's POV**_

"That son of incredibly bitch of right now!", Karev cursed.

"Alex, you've been shot", I try to hold him still, while explaining the situation to him. Lexie was begging me to get him out of here, afraid the gunman would come back soon.

Looking Karev up and down I couldn't find an exit wound. I looked up for Callie to help me. She just came back, after gathering some medical supplies. She dropped them on the table, some of them falling to the floor.

As I looked at her closely all thoughts about Karev vanished from my mind and I yelled out in shock: "Callie, you're bleeding!"

_**Callie POV**_

"Callie, you're bleeding!", Mark yelled at me. His yell was loud enough to reach my ears.

"What?", I look down on my scrub shirt. It was indeed soaked with blood, but it wasn't mine. "No, that's Karev's blood", I told him, pointing at my shirt.

"No, you're shoulder!", Mark exclaimed loudly, shock written all over his face.

I looked on my left shoulder, there was no blood. I looked to my right and was shocked. Blood was streaming out of a wound in my shoulder, down my arm and dripping off my fingers. Unbelieving I touched my right shoulder with my left hand. I didn't feel any pain. I looked under my scrub shirt and discovered a bullet hole directly over my clavicle. I touched it, suddenly pain is cursing through my body, more blood was spilling over my fingers and before I realized what was happening my head hit the floor.

_**Mark's POV**_

Callie stared at her shoulder in disbelieve, like she didn't even realize she had been shot. Maybe she didn't. Maybe the shock and the adrenalin had prevented her from feeling any pain.

"Callie! How bad is it?", I ask her, desperately needing to hear that my best friend was okay. But she didn't seem to hear me. Trance-like she touched her shoulder, as if it didn't belong to her body and she needed to feel it, for it to be real. "Callie!", I tried again. But no answer.

She looked under her scrub shirt. As she touched the bare skin on her shoulder her face changed to a pained expression. Before either me or Lexie could react she collapsed on the floor.

"Lexie! Get her some bandages, we need to stop the bleeding!", I yelled. Finally Lexie snapped out of her shock and into surgeon mode.


	2. Part II

**A/N: **So, this is part two. Thanks for all the reviews on the first part. I really loved reading them.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything.

And here it comes:

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Part II

_**Arizona POV**_

My day had started good. Well, as good as it could be, considered that I wasn't with Callie anymore. I tried my best to keep all my emotions bottled up inside, this always seemed to be working for me. I smiled at my co-workers, laughed with my patients and most importantly I did my job as good as always.

The hardest time for me was being alone, especially at night. Since Callie and I started dating I spend almost every night at her place, so it wasn't surprising that I could hardly sleep. The nightmares she had banned from my sleep came back in full force and haunted my almost every night.

But not tonight. Tonight I had slept six hours without dreaming or waking up screaming, so I felt well rested and ready to start a new day and face Callie with a smile.

My smile had soon vanished, when I realized that something was wrong with Callie. After our break up I had hoped we could be friends. And for the first two weeks we did really well. We greeted each other when we saw each other in the hallways, we worked together on some cases, we even had lunch together once. I have to admit, it was kind of weird and awkward. We talked about the weather for at least half an hour before my pager saved us because, let me tell you, talking about Seattle weather for that amount of time is not fun!

Although my heart ached every time I saw her, I knew we couldn't be together anymore, and I really hoped we could make it as friends. I regret my little slip in the elevator two weeks ago. It's not that I regret kissing her, it's just that it is harder for me now, knowing I can't do it again. I just missed her so much that I couldn't stop myself. But I managed to control myself just in time and walked away.

The following week I noticed that Callie started avoiding me. At first I thought I was just imagining things. But when she hid in a supply closet once I knew I didn't. I was okay with it, thinking she just needed some space and time for us to be friends.

But now I was angry. After having a relatively good morning I ran into her in the ER. She didn't even look at me, when I greeted her. Something was definitely up and I wouldn't ignore it any longer.

I cornered her when she came up to the ped's floor. What she told me got me so mad, that I said things, although true to some degree, I wish I could take back.

_FLASHBACK_

_Callie made her way to a patients room on my floor. Before she could enter it I stepped in front of her. "I thought we were gonna be friends", I told her. _

"_You wanna talk about this now? I'm in the middle of a shift and we have patients and you wanna talk about this?", she asked and tried to move past me. _

"_Well, it's not like your patient is dying right now, and there is no supply closet nearby, so yeah, I wanna talk about this", I told her sternly. She was caught a little off guard, obviously she didn't know I saw her slipping into the closet three days ago. _

"_Okay, fine, I tried being friends, rising above, I tried that. And now I'm over it. I'm gonna go the more traditional route of totally hating your guts!", with that she walked past me and into the patient's room. I stood there, completely shocked and I couldn't believe what she just told me. _

_A little later I saw her leaving the patient's room and making her way over to the elevator. Her words earlier had really hurt my feelings and I wanted to tell her that it wasn't okay! After all, she wasn't the only one who was hurting because of our break up. So I followed her to the elevator and just as the doors were about to close I slipped in, effectively trapping her. _

_She looked up from her blackberry and signed annoyed. _

"_I don't deserve this, okay?", I told her. "I have treated you with nothing but respect and love.."_

_But she interrupted me: "Oh no, see, that's the thing. You think you have but you haven't!"_

_I usually wasn't an angry person, but now I really started to get mad at her, like really. Didn't she pay any attention? "I'm sure that it feels great to act like I am the bad guy, but that's the biggest load of crap that I've ever heard!" The brake-up was both our fault, and it was unfair of her to act like it was my idea. _

"_I have spent the last month trying to convince myself that I don't need kids to be happy, really trying", her voice became louder and louder. I was fully prepared for her to start ranting in Spanish and was actually surprised that it didn't happen. She waved her hands around angrily, while she continued: "Giving lectures to myself, saying it out loud to you and to Mark and turning myself inside out to want what you want. And then I stopped for a second and I thought, did you ever try? To imagine, what it would be like? To change? For me? Because I don't think you did. What you did was you dismissed my dream. My dream! Which says to me that you don't give a rat's ass if I'm happy. I never understood squat about who you were, and now I do and I don't like it!"_

Are you kidding me?_ I actually had to hold myself back to not hit her with a brick or something, or at least throw my pen at her head. My usual-rational-controlled-self would understand, that she said most of these things because she was hurting, but my hurt-angered-ignorant-selfish-self had taken over my body. _

"_Oh really? Really? Really? I'm supposed to change? For you? Why? 'Cause we're in love? I mean, 'cause you fall in love all the time.. Men.. Women.." That was a low blow, and I knew it._

_She was about to reply when the elevator doors opened and some nurses stepped in, chatting and oblivious to our heated discussion. _

_Neither Callie nor me got out, knowing we had to continue this argument. On the next floor the nurses left and as soon as the doors closed Callie spoke up again. This time not angry, but rather defeated: "When are you gonna forgive me for not being a good enough lesbian for you?"_

"_When you do something to convince me that you're falling in love with me and not with being in love.", I told her. I had been burnt in the past by women who decided after a while they'd rather be with men. And with Callie I had this feeling from the very beginning. But I gave it a try anyway. Now it seemed like it was happening all over again. How would I know, that Callie wouldn't go back together with a man, if that meant she could have kids._

"_When you do something to convince me that I am different from George O'Malley, Erica Hahn, Mark Sloan, the girl at the coffee cart. I mean, you have a huge heart and I love that about you, but I don't trust you, why would I?"_

_Her reply was drowned as my pager started beeping. 911 to the ped's floor. The doors opened again and I skipped out and raced to the stairs. I was so done talking to her. She hated me? Me? Arizona Robbins? I'm hot, and I'm right, and I'm awesome and if she wants to throw what we had away like that, it's her bad. I wasn't going to show her that she just ripped out my heart._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Now, hours later, I worked my ass off, cursing this lock down and the understaffed ped's floor. At least it helped me getting my mind off of Callie and our fight, which I was actually thankful for. If I had been at home right now I would probably have cried my eyes out and eaten dozens of donuts.

"Dr. Robbins! Ruby's appendix ruptured", one of the residents informed me, effectively stopping my thoughts drifting off to Callie. _Oh crap_, I thought. A ruptured appendix and we can't go to the OR.

I had no idea, why we even were on lock down. In my whole medical carrier I never had a situation like that before. I was guessing it was a drill, which hopefully meant it would be over soon.

"Okay, get her in an empty room, I'll be right there", I told her and hurried to get some medical supplies.

Ten minutes later I had Ruby lying on her side and a nurse comforting her, while I prepared her for an epidural.

"Okay, you're gonna feel a poke and it'll hurt but only for a little while", I told Ruby to prepare her for the pain.

As soon as I touched her with the needle she tensed up. "It hurts", she exclaimed.

The nurse held her hand and spoke comforting words to the child. At the sound of doors opening behind me she looked up. As I saw shock reflecting in her eyes I stopped my actions and looked behind me, dreading what I would see.

In the door frame stood a SWAT officer, checking the room over his gun. "Thank God", the nurse murmured.

"This floor has been cleared", the SWAT guy told us, "we are here to evacuate you."

That's all I needed to hear. I didn't care why he is here or what's going on in the hospital, the only thing on my mind was to get Ruby to an OR.

"This girl has a ruptured appendix, we need to operate on her as soon as possible", I told him. He winked another officer over to him and told him to bring us to the back entrance of the hospital. I grabbed the needed supplies and follow him, pushing Ruby's bed with us.

We quickly made our way to the exit, he checked every corner, while I tried to comfort Ruby. The poor girl had been through a lot today. On the outside of the hospitals ambulances were parked and ready to leave. The SWAT officer dismissed me as I climbed into the ambulance behind Ruby.

The ride to Seattle Presbyterian rushed by like minutes and before I knew it I was arguing with the chief of surgery so I could scrub in on Ruby's surgery.

Ten minutes later I was about to scrub in, as my cell phone rang. Without looking at the caller ID I snapped it open and answered: "Robbins."

"Arizona? You okay?", I recognized the voice instantly and wished I hadn't answered that call.


	3. Part III

**A/N**: Hey everybody! Here is the third part. I want to thank everybody who read and reviewed the first two chapters, you guys are awesome! When I started this story I didn't think it would be this long, you know, maybe one or two parts. But then I had so many ideas and I just couldn't put all of them in just two parts and now I'm almost done with the fifth part! And it is really, really, like reeeaaally great to know that you like it (honestly, I would have uploaded the story anyway, even if I would have gotten no reviews at all, but I wouldn't put that much effort in writing or uploading it as quickly as I do now). Yeah, so, thanks. Reading the reviews makes writing so much more fun.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

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Part III

_**Mark's POV**_

Lexie and I worked on Callie and Alex and did our best to minimize the damage. Both had lost a lot of blood and were unconscious when the SWAT team evacuated our floor.

Alex had a GSW to the chest and was therefore more critical than Callie and was brought to Seattle Presbyterian with the last ambulance. I waited with a still unconscious Callie for the arrival of the next one. She was lying on a gurney, her skin paler than I'd ever seen it before. We were already transfusing her blood and fluids and Lexie had temporarily patched up the wound in her shoulder. But the bullet was still inside and there was probably some internal bleeding, which meant she would need surgery soon.

I patted her hair softly, while praying to God that she was going to be okay. I wasn't someone who prayed often, or at all for that matter, but I felt so helpless right now and didn't know what else to do.

I was willing the ambulances to hurry up and come back soon, as I felt Callie stirring under my touch.

_**Callie POV**_

I felt a hand on my head, softly stroking my hair. I tried to open my eyes, but failed. My eyelids felt heavy and I wished I could just go back to sleep. But a faintly familiar voice talked to me. I couldn't understand any words, but the sound alone gave me enough strength to open my eyes.

At first my vision was blurry, but slowly the pictures were becoming clearer and I saw a completely distraught Mark looking down at me. I wanted to get up, but I could hardly move. A soaring pain rushed through my body as I tried to lift my right hand.

"Ouch" I tried to form words, but my tongue felt just heavy as my eye lids.

"Callie! Stay calm, you have been shot. The ambulance is on their way", Mark told me.

_I've been shot? What happened? _My brain felt foggy as memories were coming back to me. It was like I just woke up from a dream. Slowly I could recall what happened. My fight with Arizona. The lock down. A gunman. A dead nurse. A shot Alex Karev. My bleeding shoulder. A gunman in the hospital...

I looked up at Mark, pure horror written all over my face.

"It's okay, Callie. You are safe now", Mark comforted me.

"Gunman", I started mumbling. My mouth was dry and the morphine combined with the blood loss made it almost impossible for me to form coherent words. "Hospital!", I tried again.

"Callie, we are out of the hospital. The ambulance will come soon..", Mark desperately tried to calm me down.

"Gunman! Hospital!", I yelled, begging him to understand. "Arizona!" I didn't know if she was still in there. I didn't know if she was safe. I didn't know anything, she could be dead for all I knew and Mark was just sitting there and staring at me.

Slowly his face turned into a shocked expression as he realized what I meant.

_**Mark's POV**_

I was so glad when Callie regained consciousness. She looked panicked and lost, so I tried to comfort her the best I could. I was still in shock myself, I couldn't believe what had happened today. But we had made it out. Alex was already on his way to an emergency surgery and the ambulances would come back soon. He and Callie would be okay, I tried to tell myself.

Callie started mumbling, the morphine making it almost impossible for me to understand her. She still looked terrified.

"Arizona!", she yelled at me, struggling to get up. _Is she hallucinating? Arizona is not here, she is.. Oh no, she's probably still in the hospital!_ My thoughts catching up slowly to what Callie had realized already.

There was a gunman in the hospital and Arizona was probably still in there. I started looking around frantically. Hoping, against all odds, that maybe I could spot her. Instead I could see the ambulances coming back and I let out a small breath of relief.

"Callie, the ambulances are here", I told her. There was nothing she could do right now to help Arizona, she needed to take care of herself. "We are going to get you to another hospital and take you to surgery."

Callie looked at me like I had completely lost my mind. "Can't leave! Arizona!", she yelled again and pointed to the hospital with her good hand as she tried to get up again. I pushed her down softly and her weak body couldn't fight me.

"You can't help her right now", I tried to reason with her, but she wouldn't listen to me.

"Gimme phone!", she ordered me.

_**Callie POV**_

I didn't even hear that Mark was talking to me. My pain was all forgotten, my dizziness was wearing off slowly, as my thoughts kept spinning around Arizona. Our fights suddenly seemed silly. All I really wanted was her. Why did I need a crisis like this to see that? Why didn't I realize it earlier, not now, when she could be shot, or killed? Then I realized that one of the last things I said to her, was that I hated her. This thought was unbearable. I needed to find her! I needed to tell her!

I looked at Mark. "Gimme phone!", I yelled at him. He looked at me dumbstruck but fumbled his phone out of his pocket. I grabbed it with my left hand and quickly typed in her number.

_Pick up! Please, pick up!_ I willed her. The silence between the rings seemed like hours, and finally, after the third ring I heard what my heart so desperately ached for: her voice.

"Robbins"

"Arizona? You okay?", I all but yelled, relief flooding through my body. But I needed to hear her say it. I needed to know that she was alright.

I heard her sign. "Callie, why are you calling?" Her tone was angered.

"You okay?", I asked again, "Where are you?" The words coming out of my mouth still slurry from the morphine.

She signed again. "I'm at Seattle Presby..."

"I love you!", I blurt out. _She's at Seattle Presbyterian. She's away from the shooter, away from the danger. She's save._

"What?", her voice sounded shocked.

"I love you", I told her again, "and I wanna be with you, and I.."

"Callie, are you drunk?"

"..don't wanna have kids, if that.." I wanted to tell her how I felt. I wanted her to know that she was enough for me, that I didn't need kids.

"Callie!", she interrupted me again, "I can't do this right now!" With that she hung up.


	4. Part IV

**A/N: **First of all: WOW! You guys are awesome, your reviews really made my day! Second: Don't hate Arizona for hanging up on Callie before you heard her part of the story. Third: Hmm.. I don't really have a third, so let's just skip that. =D Forth: This is the second chapter I uploaded today, so I'll probably upload the next one tomorrow. But, since I don't really have anyting to do (except for cleaning up, but writing this story definitely trumps that), it's possible that I'll finish writing the 7th part today and in this case I will upload the next part before I'll go to bed. But I won't promise anything, especially since my sleeping pattern is a little off lately and I could fall asleep before I finish writing part VII. Fifth: I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

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Part IV

_**Arizona's POV**_

"Callie, why are you calling?" I asked angrily, effectively ignoring her question. Why did she suddenly care how I was? A few hours ago she didn't seem that interested.

"You okay? Where are you?", she insisted to know.

_Might as well tell her, _I thought. "I'm at Seattle Presby...", I started, but she interrupted me.

"I love you!", she all but yelled.

"What?" _Are you freaking kidding me?_ She couldn't be serious. I was very tempted to hang up right then.

"I love you", she repeated, "and I wanna be with you.." Only then I realized that her voice sounded a little off. I knew her voice well, so I could tell something was up. Her words were slurry and I actually had a hard time understanding her.

"Are you drunk?", I asked, not even trying to hide my anger. She calls me after telling me she hates me, only to drunkenly profess her love? _Is this a joke to her?_

_I didn't even listen to what she was saying. _"Callie! I can't do this right now!", I told her before I angrily shut my phone and shoved it back in my pocket. I was furious. _How could she call me like that? _

My hands were shaking as I started to scrub in. Closing my eyes I tried to calm myself down. I needed to ban her from my thoughts. Taking slow, deep breaths I somehow managed to control myself. I wouldn't allow her to have this power over me. _I am Arizona Robbins, a good man in a storm!_

With that thought I stepped into the OR. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to operate on Ruby myself, but I watched the attending Ped's surgeon very closely, trying my best to focus on the procedure.

_**Mark's POV**_

Callie was on the phone talking to Arizona, at least I hoped so. When the ambulance came. I told them to wait a minute to let them finish their talk.

"I don't wanna have kids, if that..", she stopped mid sentence. I looked at her inquiringly. Her mouth was still open and in her eyes glistered tears.

"What happened?", I asked. She looked up at me, swallowing hard.

"She just hung up", her voice sounded defeated.

"Is she okay?"

"I.. I guess. She's at Seattle Presbit.. Preybe.. Pres..", she stumbled over the word, the morphine was still obvious in the way she talked. I started stroking her hair again as the first tears made their way down her cheeks.

"Hey, at least we know now that she's out of the danger. And now we'll go to Seattle Presbyterian and find her, okay?", I comforted her like a child, and from the look she gave me I knew it was exactly what she needed.

"Okay", she mumbled. Her voice quiet and broken. I continued stroking her hair as I waved the paramedics over. After we'd gotten her safely in the ambulance she closed her eyes, tears now streaming freely over her beautiful features.

_**Callie's POV**_

I was laying on the gurney in the ambulance. In my mind I went over the conversations I had with Arizona today. I couldn't believe that I actually told her I hated her. She looked so hurt afterwards and I wish I could take it back now.

I felt so tired. My fight with Arizona had worn me out. No wonder I didn't feel the pain of my wound so bad. I was already hurting in the worst way possible. After Arizona told me she didn't trust me or our relationship I was stunned, had I never expected this. Couldn't she see how much I loved her, that she was my world?

I tried to tell her on the phone, but she wouldn't listen to me. I wondered what happened to her during the lock down. Did she see the shooter? Did he come to the Ped's wing, holding his gun at her head? Unbearable images were cursing through my head. _No, no! Don't think like that. _I told myself. _You talked to her, she sounded fine. Just angry. _

That thought made me even sadder. Arizona wasn't usually an angry person. She was always bright, shiny and perky. Knowing that it was me who got her so mad almost made me sick. _I need to find her. I need to make her listen to me. I need her to understand. _Because I knew now. I knew I couldn't live without her.

I felt the ambulance stopping and as the paramedics unloaded the gurney I opened my eyes, which felt heavier again, looking for Mark. He was still by my side, he was such a good friend to me and I could never thank him enough. I just needed to ask one more thing of him.

"Mark?", my voice sounded weak. He instantly looked at me worried.

"I'm here, Callie", he spoke softly, never letting go of my hand.

"Can you find Arizona, please? See, if she is okay?", I pleaded.

"I can do that. I can definitely do that. But you have to promise me something too", he told me.

I nodded, fighting now to keep my eyes open.

"You'll be going straight to surgery and you're going to be alright. You need to promise me that you'll be okay too!" I could see tears in his eyes. The day had been hard for him too.

I nodded again. "I'll do my best", I tell him before he let go of my hand and some doctors took me away.

_**Mark's POV**_

We finally arrived at Seattle Presbyterian. They rushed Callie away to prepare her for surgery immediately. After knowing that Arizona was safe she had been much calmer. Before they took her to away I promised her to go and find Arizona myself, to make sure she was alright.

I desperately wanted to stay with Callie, but I knew she was in good hands now and there was nothing more I could do for her. I took a minute to compose myself again. Patching up Karev today was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I'm a doctor, I save lives, it's what we do. But saving Karev today, putting in a chest tube, while hearing him scream, I don't know how I did that. Adding to that the fact that he was with Lexie now, the woman I loved so much. It was almost too much.

But I couldn't think of that now. I had promised Callie to look for Arizona, so that was what I was going to do. I made my way through the hospital looking for familiar faces. In the lobby I found Teddy. She was already wearing red scrubs.

"Teddy!", I called. She turned around, her eyes showing relief as she saw me. I know our recent history wasn't that good, but I couldn't resist hugging her. I genuinely liked her and was glad she was okay.

"Is it true? There was a shooter?", she asked me.

"Yeah, I saw him", her eyes went wide at that, "Alex has a GSW to the chest and is hopefully in surgery right now and Callie was shot in the shoulder and lost a lot of blood, but I hope she pulls through."

"Oh my god. Do you know anything else?", she asked, needing to find out about all our friends.

"No. Have you by any chance seen Arizona? I'm looking for her.", I asked, remembering my promise, "She must be around here somewhere."

"She got out?", Teddy asked hopefully. I knew they were close friends by now, so I nodded, knowing she needed the reassurance.

"Callie talked to her on the phone, but she wanted me to find her anyway to make sure she's alright", I told her.

"Have you tried the Ped's ward, yet?", she suggested.

"No, but I'm going to head there right now. You wanna come?"

"No, I'll go down to the ORs and see if they need help. Can you call me when you find her?"

"Sure." I hugged her one last time and continued my search for Arizona. I followed the signs to the Ped's floor, but before I reached it my phone rang. It was Teddy.

_**Teddy's POV**_

After Mark walked away I turned around and started looking for the ORs. I offered the chief of surgery my help and he thankfully accepted. The hospital was swamped and they needed all the help they could get.

I finally found the OR board. I studied it quickly, it was a mess. Alex Karev was in OR 1, OR 3 to 5 were occupied by other gun shot victims. A resident added something to the board, only increasing the the mess. After the resident was done he headed into OR 2. Teddy saw, that the young surgeon had put Callie's name on the board. Her surgery was scheduled in OR 2, which was currently occupied by an emergency appendectomy.

I stepped into the scrub room, which connected OR 1 and 2. To my left was OR 1, where Alex was laying. I was about to step into the room, when I shot a quick glance to the other OR.

I stopped dead in my tracks. There was someone with dark blue scrubs standing between the other surgeons. I recognized immediately who it was.

I quickly pulled out my phone and called Mark, before stepping into OR 2.

The operating surgeon didn't even look up when I entered the OR. "I told you, I need 15 more minutes, then you can have the OR", she told me sternly. Obviously the resident had informed her, that they needed the OR.

I looked to Arizona. She stood there, completely calm, watching the procedure. _Does she even know Callie has been shot? _I couldn't help but wonder.

I step next to her. "Arizona", I addressed her quietly. She jumped, obviously she didn't notice me before.

"Oh, hey Teddy", her voice sounded normal, almost perky. "What are you doing here?", she asked, looking back down to the girl on the table.

"Well, I came to check up on Karev, but then I saw you and wanted to make sure you're okay." _Why was she acting like nothing had happened?_

"I'm fine. You know, considering the circumstances", she shrugged it off. "What's with Karev?"

_How can she possibly handle this so easily? _I stared at her in shock.

_**Arizona's POV**_

The surgeon did an excellent job. Not that I hadn't expected that, but I had promised Ruby's family to take care of her, so that's what I did. Focusing on the procedure also helped getting my mind off of Callie.

Towards the end of the surgery a young resident came into the OR, telling us to hurry because they needed the OR for a gun shot victim. I didn't really give that any thought and went back to observing the other surgeon.

Slowly my mind drifted off to Callie again. Our earlier argument, or rather fight, was playing over and over in my head, like a broken record. Her words really hurt me so much, that I was beginning to wish I never went after her into that bathroom at Joe's. _Don't think like that, Arizona! _I told myself. _Focus on Ruby. Focus..._

"Arizona", a soft voice startled me out of my thoughts and made me jump slightly.

I looked up and found Teddy looking down at me concerned. "Oh, hey Teddy. What are you doing here?" My voice was far from it's usual perk, but I had decided on not letting to show anyone how broken and hurt I really was. I was genuinely surprised to see Teddy here. Maybe she had an emergent patient transferred here as well.

"Well, I came to check up on Karev, but then I saw you and wanted to make sure you're okay." _What is it with everybody asking me if I'm okay? _

"I'm fine. You know, considering the circumstances." _No, don't think of Callie, _I ordered myself and quickly changed the subject. "What's with Karev?"

When she didn't answer I looked back up again. She stared at me as if I had grown a second head. "Teddy, what's wrong?"

"You.. you haven't heard?", she stuttered out.

"Heard what?" I was beginning to get worried. _What's going on here? Is there something wrong with Karev?_

"I think we should talk in private. You're done here, right?", with that she pulled me out of the OR.

_**Mark's POV**_

After Teddy called me to tell me she found Arizona I quickly made my way to the OR floor. It was swamped. Patient beds were everywhere. Doctors and nurses were running around, yelling at each other. The OR board was a mess.

I looked through a glass door into the scrub room, that connected OR 1 and 2. It wasn't hard to spot Arizona. Her dark blue scrubs were shining through the red ones like a neon sign at night. Teddy had taken her by the hand as they stepped into the scrub room.

Arizona looked confused and slightly angry at Teddy. I stepped into the room, drawing Arizona's attention to me.

"Mark? What are you doing here? What's going on?", she demanded to know.

_Hold it! Doesn't she know what happened? _I looked at Teddy but the cardio surgeon's gaze was directed to OR 1. I follow her gaze and saw Karev laying on the table. Arizona realized we were staring behind her and turned around. As she saw what we were staring at she yelled out in shock.

"Is that Alex Karev?"

_**Arizona's POV**_

Teddy's weird behavior confused, worried and angered me. _What the hell is going on? Why __wouldn't she just tell me? _

As we entered the scrub room I turned to face her. "Will you tell me what's going.."

But I was interrupted by the door opening. I looked up to see Mark coming in. "Mark? What are you doing here? What's going on?" My voice grew louder and angrier. He didn't look me in the eye and instead shifted his gaze to Teddy. I looked at them, my anger now in full force. _What are those two up to?_

But my anger subsided, when I followed their gaze in the OR behind me.

"Is that Alex Karev?", I yelled, although I was pretty sure it was him. I could see his face clearly but I couldn't believe my eyes. What was Alex Karev doing in an OR? "Why is he here?", I demanded to know.

Mark looked me straight in the eye. I could see he was thinking about what to say to me.

"He was shot", he finally said. My mouth dropped open in disbelieve and shock. Before I could say anything he continued.

"There was a shooter in the hospital."


	5. Part V

**A/N:** Okay, I lied earlier. I haven't finished Part VII yet, but instead I have finished part VIII. Weird, right? Anyway, I wanted to upload this chapter now, because I think it's kind of important and I had a feeling everybody was eager to find out what AZ is going to do. This chapter was really hard to write. I felt like all the tension was building up to this chapter and now I kind of need to do something with it. I'm not sure if I succeeded. It was really not easy to write down AZ's feelings, but I did the best I could. And don't worry. There is still much more drama to come, trust me. I am not making it too easy for AZ and Callie because frankly I think that would be just boring. So have fun reading it and tell me what you think!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

* * *

Part V

_**Mark's POV**_

„There was a shooter in the hospital."

Silence engulfed us. I looked for some emotion in Arizona's eyes, any emotion at all, but was met with nothing. She stared at me blankly. The blonde looked like a statue, cold and motionless. I wasn't even sure if she was breathing.

Desperately I looked at Teddy for help. She seemed as taken aback about Arizona's reaction as I was. Slowly she stepped closer to the ped's surgeon and laid an arm on her shoulder.

"Arizona", she tried softly, but the small blonde didn't respond. I don't know how long we stood there, but eventually surgeons came into the small scrub room. The appendectomy on the little girl was done and she was brought out of the OR.

The other surgeons didn't pay much attention to us. Arizona stood still, her eyes had closed and her breathing was very shallow. Teddy patted her shoulder and I felt so helpless. I wished I could have done something to comfort her. _I can't believe she didn't know about the shooter. Does she know Callie was shot? I mean, she talked to her earlier, but I don't remember Callie mentioning it. _I looked around desperately, wishing I knew how to comfort Arizona.

Some nurses in OR 2 caught my attention. They pushed in a bed with a new patient.

"Oh, no."

_**Arizona's POV**_

I couldn't believe my ears. I didn't want to hear what Mark just told me. I didn't want to believe that it was true. That there was a shooter in our hospital. But deep down I knew it was the truth. It all made sense now. The lock down. The SWAT team. The police cars in front of the hospital.

I didn't know why I didn't make the connections earlier. I had heard people talking here at Seattle Presbyterian, I had seen the scared looks on people's faces. How could I have been so oblivious?

I closed my eyes. My mind wandered back to Alex Karev. He was a good guy, I knew that. Even if I wanted to hit him with a brick once, I knew he was a good guy. And he was good in Peds. Now he was laying in an OR with a bullet inside his body. He had been shot. That was another truth I didn't want to accept. Because one thing was very clear to me: If Alex Karev had been shot, there could have been others too. And that was the most terrifying thought.

I hardly realized that there was a hand patting my shoulder. I felt numb, like I was drowning. But I was thankful for that hand. It was like a lifeline, keeping me from going crazy and from breaking down right now. I heard a distant beeping from the OR behind me. Alex's heartbeat. With every beat the truth became more and more undeniable. There was a shooter in the hospital.

I couldn't take it any longer. Images were now running through my head, my imagination showing me the worst possible outcome. I wanted to open my eyes, ban the pictures from my mind but my body wouldn't listen to me anymore. It was Mark's mumbled "Oh, no", that brought me out of my trance. I forced my eyes open.

I felt Teddy's grip on my shoulder increasing, as she tried to push me around and out of the scrub room. But I was unable to move my legs. My eyes were glued onto something in OR 2. On the gurney, that was occupied by Ruby just a little while ago, was now laying another all too familiar body. My worst fears had come true.

My hands started trembling and my knees were about to give in under me. With the last ounce of strength I had I pushed Teddy's hand away and stormed out of the scrub room.

_**Teddy's POV**_

I soon as I saw Callie in the OR I wanted to get Arizona out of here. I didn't want her to find out like this. But it was already too late. Arizona's expression was one of pure horror. Before I could think of anything to say to her she turned around and stormed out.

"I should probably go talk to her", I said to Mark before I followed her. I quickly spotted her blue scrubs and ran after her.

_**Mark's POV**_

I stood there shocked. This was so not how I thought this would happen. I had expected her to break down and cry, or yell, screaming at us to let her see Callie. But she had reacted so differently then I expected.

I had seen her angry, sad and devastated before, I could have handled that easily. But never, never ever, had I seen her this emotionless. And this scared me more than anything. I was glad Teddy went after her. The two surgeons had become good friends, and Arizona really needed a friend right now.

Trusting Teddy to take care of Arizona I turned and entered the OR in which Callie was prepped for surgery. She was already under anesthesia. Nonetheless I sat down next to her head and started stroking her hair softly. The monitors showed her vital signs. They could be better, but considering the circumstances she did very well.

"I found Arizona", I told her. "She is alright, well, at least physically. She didn't know what happened at our hospital. I guess she was pretty isolated from the shooting in her Peds floor."

I looked up as someone stepped next to me. It was one of Seattle Presbyterian's surgeons. "Who are you?", he asked me.

"Dr. Mark Sloan", I introduced myself.

"Are you here as a doctor, or as a friend?", he asked me. Before I could answer he continued: "Because I can't have a friend of my patient in the OR. But if you are here as a doctor, you can stay." He looked at me sympathetically.

I was surprised by this. Most doctors didn't approve of friends or families in the OR, and it was against most hospital policies.

"A doctor", I answered, "I'm here as a doctor." I could never thank him enough. I didn't know what I would have done if I would have had to wait outside.

"Great. Let's get started then", he said confidently.

_**Teddy's POV**_

I followed Arizona to an empty conference room. She slipped inside and closed the door before I could enter. I knocked softly.

"Arizona, it's me, Teddy. Please open the door", I pleaded. When I got no response I slowly opened the door and stepped in. Arizona was sitting at the desk, her shoulders slumped down, tears running down her face as she stared out the window.

I sat down next to her. At first I wasn't sure if she even realized I was there, but then she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. I squeezed back. It was the only comfort I could give her right now.

We sat there in silence for a while and watched the sun set. It was kind of ironic, today was probably one of five sunshiny days in Seattle and exactly today a gunman decided to show up at the hospital and shoot people.

"How are you?", I asked, when I couldn't take the silence any more.

I wasn't sure she was going to response, but she looked at me for the first time since she found out about the shooter and answered: "I don't know." She sounded so defeated, so unbelievably sad, so un-Arizona-like it that it made my heart ache.

"Do you..", she swallowed hard and looked away from me before she could continue, "Do you know if she is... okay?"

I knew she needed the reassurance, but I didn't want to lie to her. "I don't know. We could go find out", I suggested.

Her head snapped around and she looked at me bewildered for a second, but then she lowered her gaze and mumbled: "I can't."

I squeezed her hand. "Do you want me to go find out?", I asked warily.

"Yes, please", she answered quietly, still looking down.

I wanted to get up instantly. I wasn't someone to sit down for a long while. I always needed to do something. Before I walked out the door she spoke up again.

"Teddy?" I turned around.

"Thank you for being there for me", she mumbled very child like. I smiled at her reassuringly before leaving to check on Callie.

_**Arizona's POV**_

After Teddy left I sunk down in the chair. I was thankful that she had been here with me and that she was now checking on Callie. But then again I was also glad to be alone now. I hadn't lied when I told Teddy that I didn't know how I felt, because really, I didn't know.

I felt the need to sort my feelings out and for that I needed to be alone. _What am I feeling? _I closed my eyes and took long deep breaths. _I feel relief. _Yes, I definitely felt relief. I was relieved that the gunman didn't come up to the peds wing. I was relieved that I was fine and that Teddy was fine. A thought of Callie crossed my mind. _I am relieved that she is alive. _

But thinking about her also stirred up other feelings. I still felt angry and hurt because of what she said to me today, sad because of our break up, terrified at the thought that something had happened to her.

When Mark told me, that there was a shooter, I hadn't allowed myself to think about Callie. Then I had seen her and I was about to break down right there in the scrub room. The thought of Callie dying was horrible, but if I was honest to myself, I had already lost her. Not as irrevocably as when she would be dead, but I had lost her nonetheless. We weren't together anymore, she wasn't mine any longer, but still I wanted nothing more than to be with her, make sure she was alright. But I couldn't. We couldn't be together anymore.

I got up and started pacing. She had called me only an hour or so ago. Was she already shot then? That thought made me want to throw up. I couldn't believe I hung up on her. _Yes, I was angry, hell, I still am! But I she must have been in an unbelievable pain and still called me to make sure I was alright and I didn't even want to listen. _

I stumbled and held onto the table to prevent myself from falling over. I could hardly breath as my chest tightened to an almost painful degree. Now, more than anything, I felt angry at myself. For not listening to her, for not being there for her when she needed me the most. I felt sick. I frantically searched the room and reached the garbage can just in time as my stomach emptied itself.

Right then my cell announced the arrival of a new text message.

_**Mark's POV**_

I kept talking to Callie. More for my own comfort than hers since she probably couldn't hear me.

"Arizona was a little shocked when she found out about you being shot. Well, a little is probably an understatement, but you don't worry about that now. Just focus on getting better. I'm going to need you, you know? Who else will listen to me whining about Lexie?" I just kept on ranting about everything that came to my mind.

Every once in a while I looked up to observe the surgery. Her surgeon seemed pretty good. He was also honestly concerned about her. I figured it had something to do with the fact that he was operation on a fellow surgeon.

After half an hour of operating on her he paged someone from neuro to repair eventual nerve damage, so she wouldn't loose any sensation in her arm.

"You're doing great", I told her. "And you will see, before you know it you'll be back in the OR and break bones. Can you remember that one girl who fell out of her tree last year. You know, the one who was crazy about protecting trees." I chuckled at that memory. Callie had loved this case, broken bones were her life, Mark couldn't imagine what Callie would do if she couldn't operate any more. "That case was so fun. I always enjoy working on cases with you, like you said, I'm your work husband. So you..."

Mark's ramble was disturbed by Callie's heart monitor beeping rapidly. The operating surgeons looked up. "Her heart is into distress, someone page cardio!"

_**Arizona's POV**_

After throwing up everything I ate today, which luckily wasn't much, I got up and went to the next bathroom to get cleaned up. I looked at the person staring back at me from the mirror. She looked defeated. _Yeah, that's how I feel. Defeated._ I had gotten over the shock and I had started composing myself. _What do I do now? What can I do now?_

I looked at my cell phone and read the text. It was from Teddy.

_Callie's still in surgery. Bullet lodged in scapula, but pulling through. Got paged into surgery, I'll come find you later._

_Teddy_

I let out a breath of relief. _She's okay_, I told myself. But who was I kidding? Of course she was not okay. She had been shot. I couldn't stand here any longer, wallowing in self-pity and beating myself up. This was not who I am. This was not who I was raised to be.

I stepped out of the bathroom and walked back to the ORs. Taking a deep breath to prepare myself for what I was going to see I stepped in the OR gallery. It was deserted. Most surgeons were busy with the overflow of patients coming from Seattle Grace Mercy West.

I looked down in the OR. There she was, lying on the OR table. She looked so vulnerable and pale. I've never seen her skin this pale. Mark was sitting by her head, stroking her hair softly and talking to her. I was so grateful that she didn't have to be alone now.

_She's okay._ I told myself again. I knew now, I could go now, knowing that she's alive and on a road to recovery. I should go, I didn't have any business being her. _I'm not her girlfriend anymore. _But I couldn't get myself to leave.

Everything we said to each other today kept replaying in my mind. _"totally hating your guts" ... "I never understood squat about who you were, and now I do and I don't like it" ... "I don't trust you, why would I?" _

I tried to banish these thoughts from my mind but it was like she was standing right next to me and yelling them into my ear. Did she mean it? I knew I did. I didn't want to tell her like that but I had felt it all along. I had always been the one to set the pace in our relationship and it had seemed to me sometimes that she was just following along. I had always waited for the moment when I wasn't enough for her anymore. The moment when she realized that she didn't love me the way I loved her. I never fully opened up to her. I was always cautious to not give too much of myself to her. But in the end it hadn't mattered.

My thoughts turned back to the surgery when I saw Mark jumping up from his seat next to Callie. He started yelling at one of the surgeons, but I couldn't understand it from where I was. _Oh no! What's going on?_ My gaze found the heart monitor and what I saw made my own heart almost stop.

_**Mark's POV**_

„What did you do?", I angrily asked the surgeon while jumping up from my seat.

"I need suction here!", he ordered a resident.

"What did you do?", I yelled at him again, my voice unnaturally high.

"Dr. Sloan! Sit down, or do I need to kick you out of my OR?", he asked me with a loud voice.

"I need more light!"

I slumped back down on my seat. "Come on, Callie! You're strong, you're bad ass, don't give up now!", I pleaded her.

"She's in V-fib!", a resident yelled.

"We need a crash cart!" "Charge to 200! Clear!"

I lifted my hands as the first electric shock went through her body.

"Callie! You can't give up now! I need you! You promised you'd fight, so fight!", I pleaded, tears in my eyes.

"Push three of epi and charge again! Clear!"

"Asystole!"

_No, no, no! _"Callie, come on! Fight!", I urged her. My eyes wandered through the OR. The surgeons and nurses were moving around quickly as the heart monitor was flatlining. _Oh god! _

I looked upwards, begging god to do something, as my gaze shifted to the OR gallery, where she was standing and looking down at Callie. Pure horror written all over her face.

_**Arizona's POV**_

This couldn't be happening. I stood there in pure shock, not able to move my body, not even able to breath. I just stared down at her, at the love of my life, lying on the OR table without a heart beat.

All I wanted to do was run down there and scream at her. Tell her to fight it! To fight for life! Even if I wasn't with her anymore, I knew I hadn't lost her completely yet. She was still around. I saw her every day. She was still in my world. I couldn't imagine to live in a world where she didn't exist.

She had to live, she had to survive this. Because if she didn't, I didn't know if I would.

* * *

_**A/N 2:**_ Please don't hate me. I really didn't mean to stop here, but I felt like this chapter was getting too long. There will be an update soon. I promise! Probably tomorrow before lunch, if I am awake by then. It is almost 3 am here and I will be writing on the 7th part for a little while longer before going to bed. I really want to have it finished before I'm uploading the next part.


	6. Part VI

**A/N:** After six hours of sleep I woke up and since my mind was so occupied by how I was going to continue this story, I decided to get up and continue writing. I really want to finish this story this week because I'm leaving for Rome on Sunday morning. I'll be there for six weeks and won't take my laptop with me (how am I going to survive? I am not sure yet..) And I don't want to keep all of you waiting for so long for the end of the story.  
I still haven't really finished part VII. I wanted it to end in a certain way and I didn't want to rush there too fast. So after writing and writing it became so long, that I decided to split it, hence part VII is done and now I'm working on part VIII. I think you'll forgive me for my little cheating. The previous part VIII, that I've written yesterday, was now promoted to part IX. YAY!  
Wow, this author's note is getting annoyingly long. Sorry for that. Just one more thing: Thank you for all the reviews. They totally make my day!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

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Part VI

_**Mark's POV**_

.

"Charge to 350! Clear!"

.

The surgeons stopped their movements, staring at the heart monitor expectantly after the last shock went through her body. I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my face. The beeping echoed in my head and invaded my whole body. I started trembling. This couldn't end like this. She couldn't end like this. I had almost given up, when I heard it.

Beep-beep. I held my breath. Was I imagining things?

Beep-beep. There it was again. My eyes snapped open. I needed confirmation. Beep-beep. There were little peaks on the heart monitor. Weak, but steady. I let out my breath. I came out in a laughter of relief.

"Pulse is coming up, she's stabilizing", one of the residents stated.

_Thank god!_ "Callie, you did great", I told her. "I knew you're a fighter. Oh, and by the way, Arizona's here, she's watching you from the gallery." But as I looked up, she wasn't there anymore.

_**Arizona's POV**_

I stood there, still frozen, unable to move or breathe. My mind was totally focused on what was happening in the OR under me. _Come on, Callie! _I willed her. _Fight it! You're strong, so fight this! Damn it, Calliope! _

My hands were pressed to the glass separating the two rooms. It supported my weight because my knees felt like they were about to give in, again. A single tear was running down my cheek. I needed her to survive. I needed her to live.

I stared at the flatline on the heart monitor, only disturbed when a shock bolted through her body. She was shocked again, and again, and again. After what seemed like hours, although it must have been only minutes, the doctors stopped their actions.

_Why are they stopping? Why would they stop? _I wanted to scream and yell and hit someone with a brick, but then I saw it. I saw why they had stopped. A small peak had appeared on the heart monitor, soon followed by another.

Relief washed through my body as I slid down the glass wall until I laid on the floor. I couldn't hold myself upright any longer. I couldn't watch any longer. My breath came ragged as I started crying loudly, sobs shook my whole body and I cried until I just couldn't anymore. I was completely exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

I didn't know how long I was laying there but eventually Teddy came and led me to an on-call room. I didn't even notice her until I found myself in a bed. She sat next to me until I drifted off to sleep.

_**Teddy's POV:**_

After I checked on Callie and Mark in the OR I wanted to head back to Arizona. But then I was paged 911. So I sent Arizona a quick text to assure her that Callie was fine.

I had been paged to do a rather easy repair, that most other surgeons could have done easily. Normally I would be offended to be paged 911 for such a simple procedure, but today I wasn't. I was actually glad because it only took me half an hour and I really wanted to be there for Arizona.

When I came back to the conference room she wasn't there anymore. I tried calling her, but she didn't pick up and before I could look for her I was paged again.

An hour later I ran into Mark.

"How's Callie?", I instantly asked.

"There were complications", he told me, "she flatlined, but she's strong and pulled through. How's Arizona?"

"I haven't seen her, I got paged. Then I wanted to look for her but couldn't find her."

"She was in the gallery earlier, she watched as Callie flatlined, she was gone when I looked up again", he told me.

"Oh no. I gotta find her." _She practically saw Callie dying and wasn't seen since then. This couldn't be good. _

Mark was saying something about finding Lexie and our ways parted once again. I checked all on-call rooms, supply closets and conference rooms I could find. When I realized that she might not even be in the hospital anymore I tried calling her. She didn't pick up.

I was starting to get worried when a thought crossed my mind. I raced to the OR gallery, and there she was. Laying on the floor. Eyes opened and staring at the ceiling. I could see she had been crying. Her eyes looked empty and she didn't even realize when I took her hand and pulled her up.

Gently I led her to an empty on-call room, sat her down on the bed and pulled off her shoes. Like a robot she lay down on the bed. Before she closed her eyes her gaze found mine. I sat next to her until I was sure she was asleep.

Eventually I got up and left to get her a coffee and a box of doughnuts. I remembered her telling me once that doughnuts made her feel better. Then I left her alone and went looking for Owen. The whole Callie and Arizona drama had distracted me, but now I longed to make sure that my other best friend was safe.

_**Mark's POV**_

The rest of Callie's surgery went by without complications. I held her hand until she was laying safely in an hospital bed. She was supposed to wake up in a few hours and I wanted to use the time to find out what happened to everybody else.

I tried reaching Derek, but neither he nor Meredith answered their phones. I was worried about them, but the fact that they didn't answer their phones didn't have to mean anything. At least that's what I've been telling myself.

I found Karev in the ICU and Lexie by his bedside. It broke my heart to see her with him, but she had made her choice, when she had told him she loved him. I had been right there, standing next to her, when she declared that it was all her fault and that she loved him.

I tried not to show her how hurt I was when she told me, that his surgery was a success. I knew I still loved her and I was so thankful that she hadn't been hurt today.

When I couldn't stand being in the same room with her any longer I left. I met Teddy. She was worried about Arizona, which was understandable, considering nobody had seen her after what happened to Callie in the OR, but I knew Arizona was tough. She might not look like it, but I knew she was strong.

After unsuccessfully calling Derek again, I went back to Callie. She had already been extubated. I checked her vitals and everything looked normal. By now it was in the middle of the night and I was exhausted, so I sat down in the chair next to her bed and closed my eyes.

I woke up to a sudden sound. I looked around, momentarily forgetting where I was, until I saw Callie laying next to me in the hospital bed and all the memories came back. At first I thought she had made the sound and was waking up, but her heart rate showed no indication and her breathing was even.

I looked around to find the source of the sound when I saw Arizona standing in the door. Next I looked at the clock. I hadn't even slept two hours.

"Sorry I woke you up", she said quietly. It was dark in the room, so I couldn't see her face very well.

"It's okay", I told her. "The chairs aren't that comfortable anyway." I got up slowly and stretched my sore limbs. "I'm gonna leave you two alone. She should be waking up soon", I informed her.

"No, you can stay. I wasn't planning on being here for long", she told me with a sad voice. That surprised me. _Why won't she stay here?_

"Why?", I asked her bewildered. "Callie just came out of surgery, don't you think she wants to see you when she wakes up?"

"I'm not so sure about that." There it was again, the defeated tone in her voice. I didn't know what to say to her and before I could come up with anything she continued.

"Can you just tell me.. Is she.. is she going to be okay?", she asked, while her eyes were fixed on Callie.

I looked at her intently. This wasn't the Arizona I knew. I've never seen her like this before. This broken and defeated. Even after she had broken up with Callie she had always managed a smile, but now her face showed hardly anything at all.

"I think so, yes. As you know, there have been complications during the surgery", as I mentioned this she swallowed hard, but let me continue, "but she pulled through. She is strong."

"I know", she mumbled so quietly, I almost didn't hear it. Her gaze was still fixated on Callie, while I stood awkwardly next to her.

"Are you okay?", I asked softly.

To my surprise she shook her head. _That is definitely not the Arizona I know!_ After a while she said: "But I'm fine, don't worry about me."

Slowly she stepped closer to Callie's bed. I felt like I was intruding. "I'm gonna get some coffee", I told her and quickly made my way out.

When I got back, she wasn't there anymore. I was ready to settle back into the chair, when a beeping announced a change in Callie's heart rate and Callie's eyes fluttered open.


	7. Part VII

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

* * *

Part VII

_**Arizona's POV**_

After one or two hours of sleep I woke up in the on call room. Teddy had placed a coffee and doughnuts for me on the table, I didn't eat them, but I was thankful that she took such good care of me. I felt like I didn't deserve it. I wasn't shot, I didn't even see the shooter. Others were so much worse off than me, and still she was there for me. And I felt week for needing her so much.

I got up from the bed and walked up to the Peds ward. I wanted to help, I wanted to do something, anything. But I couldn't concentrate. My mind wandered back to Callie. The other doctors told me to take it easy and step out. They thought I was traumatized from the shooting, and maybe I was.

Eventually I couldn't stay away from her. I never could. I was always weak when it came to her. At first I just took her chart from the nurses station and read it. There it was, black on white. She was going to be alright. But it wasn't enough. I needed to see her myself.

I stood outside her room for quite a while. Mark was sleeping in a chair next to her bed, but I didn't pay much attention to him. I only had eyes for the beautiful woman in the bed. Again, I wasn't strong enough to walk away just then. When I opened the door Mark woke up.

"Sorry I woke you up", I told him. He looked like he could really need the sleep.

"It's okay", he replied. "The chairs aren't that comfortable anyway. I'm gonna leave you two alone. She should be waking up soon." He wanted to leave but I stopped him.

"No, you can stay. I wasn't planning on being here for long." My eyes were fixed on Callie. I knew I shouldn't be here for too long, and saying it out loud to Mark would probably help me to walk away later.

"Why? Callie just came out of surgery, don't you think she wants to see you when she wakes up?"

"I'm not so sure about that." I really wasn't. The last time I she talked to me I just hung up on her. The time before that we were fighting and said horrible things. _How can I just sit here and wait for her to wake up and then expect her to act like nothing happened? I can't stay. _

"Can you just tell me.. Is she.. is she going to be okay?" Although I read the chart and saw here before me, I still needed the reassurance.

He took his time before answering.

"I think so, yes. As you know, there have been complications during the surgery, but she pulled through. She is strong."

"I know", I mumbled so quietly, so he wouldn't hear me.

"Are you okay?", he asked after a while.

I shook my head. Of course I wasn't okay. _There was a freaking shooter in the hospital and he shot Callie. She was fighting for her life while I was wallowing in self-pity. I'm not okay. Nobody is. Not after today._ But I didn't need someone else worrying about me. I didn't want to burden him with my problems as well. I knew he had enough of his own. So I said: "But I'm fine, don't worry about me."

Callie looked so pale, paler than I'd ever seen her. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and never let go. I stepped close to the bed. Mark mumbled something about coffee and left. I continued staring at her. Even now she was so beautiful, she would never cease to take my breath away. Carefully I extended my hand and touched her dark hair. I hadn't touched her in so long. I softly stroked her beautiful dark curls.

"I'm so sorry", I told her. I was sorry that she was laying here. I was sorry for not being able to be there for her. I was sorry for saying all the things I said to her today. And most of all I was sorry for not being who she needed me to be.

After hesitating shortly I leaned down and pushed my lips against hers. I felt tears escaping my eyes but I didn't want to break the kiss just yet. I savored the feeling of her lips against mine, for I knew I would never feel it again.

_**Callie's POV**_

I was dreaming. I knew I was dreaming, but I didn't mind. It was a good dream. I felt like I was twelve years old and I just got my pet ferret. It had blue eyes, blonde hair and dimples. A ferret with dimples? But hey, I was dreaming, so I didn't mind.

Slowly my dream changed. It was all colorful, filled with voices and beeping. I didn't recognize the voices, but yet they sounded very familiar. But ever since the ferret left my dream I had a feeling like I was waiting for something. Maybe for the ferret to come back? I didn't know.

And then I felt something different, like a presence. I suddenly felt whole and more alive than ever before. Like something was missing before. All too soon it vanished. My dream changed back, again I was waiting. But this time I couldn't stand it. Now, that I knew how perfect I could feel, the dream, that seemed so good in the beginning, just seemed empty and sad and scary. Startled from this feeling I woke up.

_**Mark's POV**_

Callie looked scared and disoriented. Her eyes were searching the room. Finally her gaze settled at my face. I could see her relaxing and with that I relaxed too.

"Hey Callie. Feeling okay?", I asked her worried. She nodded weakly and opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out.

"Wait", I told her, "I'm gonna get you some ice chips." I hurried to get back because I didn't want her to be laying there all by herself for too long. I fed her some ice chips, which she gratefully accepted. She tried speaking again but I couldn't understand her. She tried again and I had to lean in close to make out her words. One word actually. "Arizona?" She was still worried about the blonde.

I leaned back up again and smiled at her. "She is fine. I found her before your surgery. She was in surgery herself." Callie looked at me in shock. "No, no!", I was quick to reassure her that the peds surgeon was fine, "Not as a patient. She was observing the surgery of one of her kids."

Callie's head leaned back and she closed her eyes. Relief washing over her features. I figured she must be wondering where Arizona was now, but I didn't want to tell her that the blonde had left just a few minutes ago. So I started rambling about something else, while patting her head softly.

"You know, you had us scared in the OR for a while. You went into cardiac arrest halfway through the surgery. But you're strong. You didn't give up, even when those moron doctors stopped shocking you. You came back from a total flatline. Your shoulder should be fine by the way. There was a neuro surgeon. He said it was minimal nerve damage and with a little physiotherapy you'll gain back a full range of motion." I just kept on talking until she was asleep again. I stood next to her for even longer, until my own body begged for sleep and I settled down in the chair again.

_**Arizona's POV**_

I wandered through the dark and empty hallways of the unfamiliar hospital. I couldn't bring myself to leave this place, not when Callie was here, laying in a bed and hurting. But I couldn't be with her either.

I entered an on-call room, hoping to find it empty. I didn't even bother to turn on the light. It was silent in here, I was alone. _I am all alone. _I slipped off my heelys and laid down on one of the beds. It was so quiet in here. There was nothing to distract me. There was nothing at all.

Thoughts of today came rushing back. I had managed to shut them out for a while, but now they came back full force. When I couldn't control myself any longer I started crying. All the emotions I've been trying to hold in surfaced as I screamed into the pillow. Anger, hurt, regret... I couldn't even name all of them.

My imagination tortured me with pictures of a shooter, raising his gun to Callie and pulling the trigger. I saw a shot Callie laying on the floor in a pool of her own blood. I saw Callie laying on the OR table, motionless.

I was lost and alone, crying myself to sleep in this dark and unknown place.

I didn't know when I fell asleep. I didn't know when my memories ended and the nightmares started.

_**Callie's POV**_

I was laying in my hospital bed. I had woken up a few hours ago, Mark was still sleeping in the chair next to my bed, but I didn't want to wake him, although the chair looked horribly uncomfortable.

I hardly remembered anything after I realized I was shot. Everything that had happened seemed like a dream, and the more I tried to remember it, the more it slipped away. There was only one thing I remembered clearly. I had called Arizona to make sure she was okay and save. I told her I loved her and that I didn't want kids, that I'd rather be with her instead. And I meant it. All of it. But she had hung up on me.

I don't know if I should feel angry or disappointed. She had told me yesterday that she didn't trust me. At first I thought it was out of the moment. That she didn't mean it. But now I wasn't so sure anymore.

I had expected her to be here when I woke up. I had looked around for her, but couldn't spot her. I tried to tell myself that she was busy, that she just went to the bathroom or something. But now, hours later, she still hadn't shown up.

Didn't she know that I was hurt? Didn't she hear me when I told her I still loved her? Didn't I mean anything to her anymore? All these thoughts were plaguing me since I woke up. I had nothing to distract me, so I just kept pondering, although it hurt worse than my shoulder ever could.

After another hour an intern came to check on me. He wanted to give me some more morphine, but I refused. I wanted to feel something else than this stabbing pain in my heart. Anything that would distract me from feeling like this was very welcomed, even if it was a gun shot wound.

_**Mark's POV**_

I heard people talking next to me. I groaned and wanted to turn around to catch a few more minutes of sleep, but my head hit the wall behind me and startled me completely awake. For a few seconds I was disoriented, but then I saw Callie sitting in her bed and talking to Yang.

I got up just as Christina was about to leave. I stepped next to Callie's bed and couldn't stop a smile from appearing on my face. I was so glad she was up and talking. I also saw a half empty tray of food on the table. _Good, she's eating. _

"Do you know where she is?", she asked me, her voice breaking. I didn't have to ask who she was talking about. It was clear that she was thinking about Arizona and wondering why the blonde wasn't at her bedside.

"She was here last night. Before you woke up", I told her.

"Really?" Her eyes lit up. "Where did she go?"

My face dropped. I didn't want to tell her, that Arizona had refused to stay. That Arizona had doubts about whether or not Callie wanted her here. "I don't know. But I could find her for you."

Callie shook her head slightly and with a sad look.

I was about to say something but she talked before I could form any words. It seemed as if she tried to stop me from talking about Arizona.

"So, Yang performed heart surgery on Derek", her voice didn't show any emotion. I looked at her sympathetically until I progressed what she had just said. _Derek had surgery? Derek had been shot?_

"He was shot in the chest, but Yang got there in time. He is in recovery", she continued. I stood there, shocked and couldn't believe my ears. "You should go see him."

"What? No, I don't wanna leave you alone", I told her. Honestly, the thought of my two best friends in hospital beds scared me. Sure I wanted to check on Derek, but I don't know if it was wise to leave Callie alone with her thoughts.

"It's okay. Don't worry about me. I've been up for a few hours and frankly I'm getting tired again. So I wouldn't be that great of a company", she tried to joke.

Before I left her I kissed her on the forehead and promised to be back soon. Maybe I would find Arizona on my way and could knock some sense into her.

_**Callie's POV**_

After Mark left I was alone again. The pain in my shoulder had increased, but instead of taking over and banishing the other pain, it only seemed to get worse. Maybe it was a stupid idea to refuse taking Morphine because now I felt both physically and emotionally hurt.

All those hours I'd been up today my mind had always wandered to Arizona. I was thankful for Christina. She came by and told me what had happened to Derek and Hunt. This had distracted me for a little while. Christina didn't show it, but I knew she cared about me, in her own twisty, eating-half-my-food, making-sarcastic-comments kind of way. But it's not like I was hungry anyway.

Everybody had been through so much yesterday and I couldn't help but wonder what Arizona had been through. When Mark told me she had been here I felt a pang of hope. She knew I was hurt. She probably was busy with her patients. I knew how much she cared for her patients. When she is around them, she forgets almost everything else. But who was I kidding? If she really would have wanted to be here, she would be here.

I laid my head back on the pillows and hoped to fall asleep again so I wouldn't feel all my pain.


	8. Part VIII

_**Disclaimer:**_ Don't own anything.

* * *

Part VIII

_**Mark's POV**_

After leaving Callie's room I felt bad. She was in there all alone, I wasn't even sure if she had called her parents. I was angry at Arizona for just walking away last night.

Just then I saw someone passing me with dark blue scrubs. I reached out for her hand and pulled her into an empty hallway.

"Mark! What the hell?", she yelled surprised.

"You know, for a doctor you are unbelievably stupid", I told her angrily. "How can you just leave her, laying alone in the hospital bed?"

"She wasn't alone! You were there", she reminded me dryly.

"It's not the same! She wants _you_ there. She asked for _you_. And you just decide to leave her hanging like that, when she would need you the most!"

"Mark, don't you think I want to be there?", her voice grew louder. "Don't you think I want nothing more than to hold her in my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. But I can't do that! Because I know, that everything isn't going to be okay! If I go there now it will only be harder for us!"

I looked at her in shock. This was not the Arizona Robbins I knew. "I thought you were stronger", I told her as I turned around and walked away.

When I came to Derek's room it was already filled with people and presents. I only quickly checked up on him, mainly to see for my self that he was okay. I wanted to get back to Callie. She needed someone there for her and Derek was taken good care of.

When I got back to Callie's hallway I saw Arizona standing in front of her door. She looked hesitant. She turned around a few times, before finally opening the door and stepping into the room.

_Good, someone has finally come to their senses. _I decided that Callie didn't need me right now, so I went looking for coffee and maybe I'd find Lexie on my way.

_**Arizona's POV**_

I was walking through the hospital, still wearing my dark blue scrubs. I had visited the peds floor again, but the doctors seemed to have everything under control. I knew I was in no shape to practice medicine right now, so I just kept on walking. I purposely avoided Callie's hallway, not knowing if I could resist the urge to go and see her, when I was too close to her. But my mind was with her all day.

I told myself that she didn't need me. That she'd be better off without me. Mark was there with her, she would be okay. After I ran into Mark I couldn't lie to myself any longer. When he told me he thought I was stronger, it was like he pulled me out of a trance.

Right then I decided that I would go talk to Callie. I knew we couldn't be together, but she had asked for me. I could be there for her.

Right after Mark walked away I turned to go to Callie's room. But when I reached it I couldn't go in. I turned back and made my way out of the hospital. It was raining and cloudy outside. I bought a pack of cigarettes. I told myself I would only smoke one, to calm down my nerves, but I ended up smoking the whole pack. I didn't have any more money with me, it was all back at SGMW, so I couldn't buy another pack.

Slowly I went inside, my feet automatically dragging me to Callie's room. Then I stood there, not deciding whether to go in or not. I saw her through the glass in the door. She was sleeping in her bed and looked peaceful.

After changing my mind for a few times I finally walked in. I closed the door behind me and held my breath. When she didn't wake up I stepped closer. I grabbed her chart and looked over it. I saw that she wasn't on any pain meds. _Why would she do that? A GSW hurts like hell!_

I stood next to her. I didn't dare to touch her, knowing if I would, I probably couldn't control myself. I didn't want to break down in front of her. As much as I hated to admit it, Mark Sloan was right. I could be stronger!

_**Callie's POV**_

I woke up to a slightly familiar smell. Without being completely awake yet, I started wondering where I knew that smell from. Then it dawned to me. This was what Arizona smelled like after she smoked. _Why would Arizona smoke? Why... hold on! Is she here?_

I forced my eyes open and my gaze instantly met hers. She stood next to me and looked at me with a sad smile. _She's here!_ Finally she was here. I wanted to grab her hand, but she stood just outside of my reach. She saw me reaching for her, but didn't step closer. I saw her eyes filling with tears.

"Hey." It was all I could say. She just stood there, and looked at me, while my heart ached for her touch so badly.

"Hey", she answered. Then there was silence. I looked in her eyes all the time. Her beautiful blue eyes were the first thing about her I fell in love with. Now her sadness broke my heart all over again. The pain in my heart increased. I thought seeing her would make me feel better. I thought she would come here and save me from all my pain. When I couldn't take it any longer I looked away. My own eyes filled with tears, waiting to fall.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her moving. For a second I thought she would leave, but instead she came closer, shook of her heelys and climbed into my bed. Resting her head on my good shoulder, she wrapped both arms around me and held me tight.

_**Arizona's POV**_

She looked so hurt, so lost, so sad, so pained. But there was also relief in her eyes. Happiness and hope because I had finally showed up. I wanted to hold her, tell her everything was going to be okay. But I couldn't. Instead I just looked into her eyes, seeing the hope slowly disappear.

When she looked away with tears in her eyes I couldn't take it any longer. All the reasons why I should be there for her seemed unimportant. The only important thing was she right now. So I climbed on her bed and held her.

Her tears were beginning to fall and soon sobs shook her whole body.

"I.. I", she tried to say something.

"Shhh.. Don't", I told her. "You don't have to say anything." Actually I didn't want her to say anything. I was there for her now, but I knew it wouldn't last. Whatever she wanted to say could make me realize that. And I needed to be here with her. I needed to hold her. As much for her as for me. My own tears were falling freely now, but I cried silently, staying strong for her.

I didn't know how long we laid like this, but eventually her sobs subsided. I kept holding her, I didn't want to let go. Then she started shifting and her face turned to a slightly pained expression.

"Oh god! Am I hurting you? I'm so sorry." I jumped up. I turned around to look for a chair. She must have thought I was going to leave. "Please, stay", she pleaded.

I pulled a chair next to her bed and sat down.

_**Callie's POV**_

She held me tight, almost crushing me, but I didn't mind. Finally she was here, holding me, like I needed her to. For the first time in what felt like forever I felt safe. I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. All my emotions from the past days came rushing in and took over my body.

I tried to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted her to know. I wanted her to stay with me forever. But my heavy sobs prevented any words from leaving my mouth.

Eventually my crying eased and it was only then that I felt the pain. And for the first time today it wasn't the emotional pain that dominated, but much more the pain from my shoulder. And I was unbelievably thankful for that. Still, it was very uncomfortable so I shifted around to get some weight off of my shoulder.

Suddenly Arizona jumped up. "Oh god! Am I hurting you? I'm so sorry." I wanted to tell her that it was okay, that I didn't mind the pain as long as she was here with me, but before I could tell her that she turned around. I was afraid that she would leave. The emotional pain came rushing back.

"Please, stay", I pleaded her. I couldn't be without her any longer. I needed her by my side.

Then she grabbed a chair and sat down next to me. I relaxed instantly. _She's not leaving._

"Why aren't you on any pain meds?", she almost scolded me. I could her the concern in her voice. She sounded like a mother, scared and worried about her child. The irony of this thought made me almost laugh out.

"You should take some. GSWs can be very painful."

"It's not that bad", I lied to her, but she could see right through it. She knew me too well.

Silence engulfed us. I could see she was thinking about what to say.

"I'm sorry", I blurted out when the silence became too much for me.

"Callie, don't...", she started but I wouldn't let her do all the talking. It was time for me to finally tell her how I felt.

"No! Let me finish. And don't Callie me." I had never liked my full name and always wanted people to call me Callie. But with her it was different. With her, everything was different.

"I'm sorry. For everything. Especially for ever thinking you weren't enough. I said things yesterday that I wish I could take back. Yes, I was mad at you. You seemed to be doing so well, and I felt so miserable, but Arizona, I could never ever hate you. You are my love, my life, and I want nothing more than to be with you." She opened her mouth to say something but I was quick to continue.

"I was shot yesterday but I didn't even feel it until Mark told me." I could see her shocked expression and guessed, that she hadn't heard that part of the story yet. "When I regained consciousness I only thought of you. I realized right then how stupid I had been. All I wanted to know was if you were safe. Because you are the most important thing in my life and you always will be."

She looked at me. I couldn't read her expression and that scared me. I always knew what was going on inside her, she was like an open book to me. But now this book was closed. I was looking for the right words to continue. To make her see how much she meant to me.

"I don't want to have kids it that means I can't be with you. I don't need them. All I need is you."

She looked at me for a very long time. Then she got up, turned around and walked to the door. Before she stepped out she turned back and said: „I don't believe it."

* * *

A/N 2: Ok guys, don't freak out. And don't hate me or Arizona before you read the next chapter. I promise, it will be up soon. It's already written. I just wanted to get this chapter up and now I'm in kind of a hurry because I need to pick up a friend in 10 minutes. Then we're going to the cinema and watch Knight and Day, which was partly filmed in Austria. Yes, Austria is awesome!


	9. Part IX

**A/N: **This chapter is short, but I think it is a really important one. And the next chapter will totally make up for the shortness here.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

* * *

Part IX

_**Arizona's POV**_

I just couldn't be with her, no matter how much my heart wanted it. I just knew I couldn't. It wasn't because I was still mad at her, or because I didn't love her, or because I was terryfied that she was hurt, or because she may never be her old self again, or because I thought she didn't want me there.

No, I could have gotten over all those things because I still loved her with all my heart. I was sure of that. But there was one thing holding me back. This one thing kept me from running back in her room and holding her forever. It was the thought of loosing her again.

My life had been good before I met her. I was happy and enjoyed every day of it. Then I followed her into a dirty bar bathroom and everything changed. I didn't know it back then. I thought I was still me.

But soon I had realized that she was special and I fought for her. When her father disowned her, when we argued about George, after George died, when her father came back. All those times I was there for her, but not only for her. It was for me as well, because my happyness was linked to hers. I couldn't be happy if she wasn't.

And it had been worth it. We got past all that and came out stronger the other side. I thought nothing could destroy us. But then we found out that we had different plans for the future. Plans, that were so different, that we couldn't find a compromize. So I had walked away. I did it for her because I knew, I wasn't enough for her. And I never could be. Neither of us would have been happy in the end.

I had lost her. Right then when she started talking about babies. And it was the most painful thing I had ever experianced.

And then in the OR yesterday she flatlined. And seeing her life slipping away right in front of me, it tore me apart. I had almost lost her again.

If I would go back now I knew I would loose her again. Probably not soon, but I would loose her eventually. It wasn't that I didn't trust her anymore. I knew how she felt for me. She had made me hear it. But this only made it harder for me. I still didn't want kids and she had made it quite clear that she did. She had told me earlier that she couldn't live without me. She had told me that she didn't want kids if that meant she couldn't be with me. But it wouldn't have been fair to her. I couldn't take away her dream of having children, so I had walked away, again. It had taken all my strength to do so.

I trusted her, but I didn't believe her when she said that she didn't want kids.

I believed that she would do anything for me.

I believed that she believed at that point that she didn't want kids.

I believed that she didn't want to want kids.

I believed that she didn't want to live without me.

I believed that she wanted to change all her needs for me.

I believed all of that. But I knew, she still wanted kids. I knew, deep down, that she would always want kids. And I knew, that eventually she would resent me for not giving her kids. And then I would loose her all over again, and I wouldn't survive that.


	10. Part X

**A/N: **So, as promised: a super long chapter (my longest so far). This chapter is mostly dialouge to understand a little more about Arizona. Also I think there is way too little about Teddy's and Arizona's friendship on the show. So, this chapter is pure Teddy/Arizona. I hope you enjoy!

Because I myself got a little confused with the time (you know, jumping around between the different characters and stuff) , I decided to write down a little **time line:  
**The shooting was on a Thursday (since Grey's always airs on Thursdays) Callie was shot in the afternoon and was evacuated two hours later. Arizona was evacuated before her.  
On the same day Arizona found out about the shooting, she watched the sun set with Teddy. Then there was Callie's surgery. Arizona slept a few hours in the on-call room and visited Callie that night before Callie woke up.  
On Friday, Callie was up, Mark found out about Derek and Arizona visited Callie again and left.  
Then we are in this chapter. The flashback is set approximately a few hours after lunch on Friday.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

* * *

Part X

_**Teddy's POV**_

I was looking for Arizona everywhere. I hadn't seen her since I left her in the on-call room yesterday. I thought she would be with Callie, trying to sort out their problems so she could be there for her. How wrong I had been...

_FLASHBACK_

_I had spent the night at home, trying to get at least a few hours of sleep before coming back to Seattle Presbyterian and checking on my friends. To my big relief Owen was okay. It was almost funny, actually. Owen was a guy who couldn't sit still, so he was up and walking around. Christina spent most of her time chasing after him to make him rest. _

_Derek and Alex were still weak, but both on the road to recoverey. _

_When I came to Callie's room I sensed that something was wrong. The lights were dimmed, no flowers or presents were laying around like in the other patient rooms, it was all silent. I entered the room cautiously. There was no one sitting or sleeping in the chair. _She's not alone, is she? Why is Arizona not here?

_I found Mark, laying in bed next to Callie. Holding her and stroking her hair softly while she slept in his arms. Even in her sleep her expression looked pained. I could see she had been crying. _

_When Mark saw me he got up slowly. He moved carefully to not wake her. His usual untroubled face was now filled with worry. We went out of the room to talk. _

_"How is she?", I asked, dreading to know the answer._

_"Not good. She won't eat, she didn't talk to the physical therapist, she won't even take any pain meds. She is alive, but she doesn't act like it", he told me defeated._

_"What happened?"_

_"I am not sure. I saw Arizona entering her room like three hours ago, so I left to give them some time to talk and sort things out. When I came back Arizona was gone and Callie wouldn't stop crying. I've never seen her like this. It seems like she has given up completely."_

_Mark was devastated. He felt so much for Callie, was there for her when nobody else was, held her when nobody else would. I wished I had a friend like that. _Wait.. Am I jelous of someone who is laying in a hospital bed with a gunshot wound and a broken.. no, a shattered heart? Teddy, what's wrong with you?

_"I don't want to leave her alone for too long, she just fell asleep", Mark told me. "You want to come sit with me? I am sure she would appreciate the company."_

_"No, I have something to do. I'll see you later." I hugged him because he really looked like he needed it and then I left, promising to myself that I would find Arizona and find out what exactly happened. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

I checked every room of the hospital, twice. But there was no sign of the blonde. I called her dozens of times but she never picked up.

I went to her apartment. I almost smashed the door with my knocking, but there was no answer. After a few minutes a neighbor came out of his apartment, looking for the source of the noise. He told me he hadn't seen Arizona since yesterday morning, when she left for work.

I was really worried and I ran out of places to look for her. In a last desperate attempt to find her I drove to Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital. The hostpital had been closed, but the doctors had still access to some areas to get their stuff and patient files.

I stood at a traffic light a few blocks away from the hospital when a blue VW bug caught my eye. _Isn't that Arizona's car?_ It was parked next to a small coffee shop.

When I entered the shop I instantly saw her. She was sitting with her back to me, in front of her a huge plate filled with doughnuts and a coffee. I sat down across from her.

She stared at her plate for a while before saying sadly: "They aren't helping."

"What?", I asked surprised.

"The doughnuts. Doughnuts always made me feel better. But they aren't helping anymore."

"Arizona, what happened? I checked on Callie earlier. She is devastated. She doesn't eat, she doesn't take any pain meds, she won't talk to Mark. What happened?"

"I.. I don't.. I couldn't... I couldn't stay. I just couldn't. I left her." A tear escaped her eyes and she was quick to wipe it away.

"Why? I mean, I don't understand. Don't you love her anymore?"

"Of course I do. I've never loved someone as much as I love her."

"Then what's the problem? Do you think she doesn't love you?"

"No. I don't think that. I know she loves me. She told me she loves me." Arizona swallowed hard before she could continue. "She told me she doesn't want kids. That she'd rather be with me."

"But.. isn't that what you wanted?", I asked, desperatly trying to understand her.

"Yes, I mean, no. I don't... No! I mean, I don't want kids. But I don't want her to give that up for me. She deserves everything she wants. She deserves to be happy, even if that means I have to let her go."

"But she isn't happy."

"She will be. Eventually, she will be."

"She would be happy with you."

"I'm not so sure about that." Arizona stared at her doughnuts again.

"What? Why would you say that? I've seen you two together. You make her annoyingly happy. And she told you she didn't want to have kids. Arizona, why are you not with her?", I pressed the blonde.

Arizona took a bite of a doughnut before answering.

"She said it before. She told me she didn't want to have kids weeks ago. And you know what then happened. In the end she didn't mean it. We were both heart broken." She took another bite.

"We had an argument. Before the lock down. She told me she hated me for not trying to change for her. She had resent me for not wanting children." Another bite.

"And now we are in the exact same place again. Again, she told me she didn't want children. But I don't believe her."

"Arizona, you..", I started when she took another bite of a doughnut.

"No! Let me finish, please." She swallowed. "I don't believe that she doesn't want kids. I mean, I believe that she believes it now. But she was just shot. She's in pain, she's in shock, she thought she would die. I believe she means it now. But what about next year? Or the year after that? Eventually she will resent me for not wanting kids again. And I.. I can't..."

Arizona had rambled all of that out until her voice broke. Slowly I was beginning to understand what she felt. She was afraid of loosing Callie again.

"I want to be there for her, I really do. But if I would go to her now, I wouldn't want to leave ever again. And that wouldn't be fair to Callie. She deserves someone who can give her everything she wants. Even if that's not me."

We sat in silence for a while. I was desperately trying to think of something to say. Truth is, I didn't know how Callie felt. I couldn't tell Arizona what to do. I knew Callie needed her, but I also understood the reasons why Arizona wasn't with her right now.

_**Arizona's POV**_

I didn't know how Teddy found me and frankly I didn't care. I was glad she was here with me and listened. I was never one to open up much to other people, so I was surprised to find out that talking about it actually helped a little, especially because I had the feeling that Teddy understood where I was coming from.

The doughnuts didn't help. The tasted like carton, but I continued eating them anyway.

After I had finished my ranting about why I couldn't be with Callie we just sat there. She had ordered a coffee and was sipping on it. I just ate my doughnuts and drank my coffee, although it was cold and tasted horrible. It was not like I tasted much anyway. Teddy seemed to be thinking about something. I felt a little guilty because we only talked about me. She was there for me and I leaned on her and burdened her with my problems, when I was sure she was having enough of her own.

The sound of Teddy clearing her throat brought me out of my thoughts.

"Can I ask you something?", she asked, seeming almost nervous. I just nodded my head.

"Why don't you want children?"

I had not expected that question from her. Callie had never asked me that. She had just assumed things, which drove me crazy. I stared at her for a while, before remembering that she had asked me something and I was supposed to answer.

_**Teddy's POV**_

Arizona looked at me startled. She didn't answer for a while, and I thought that maybe, she wasn't going to anymore. Maybe it was too personal, but then she shook her head, as if she was coming out of a trance and answered: "For a number of reasons."

I sure as hell hoped that they were good reasons, after all, she had walked away from Callie because of this. Arizona didn't look like she was going to continue, she just bit into another doughnut.

"Well..?", I promted her to continue.

"Well.. uhh.. there is the peds thing. I never really had pictured myself with kids. I mean, I always liked kids, that's why I went into peds after all. But peds is tough you know. I saw so many bad things happening to such good kids. And I also saw what it did to the parents. They broke down until they weren't themselves anymore. After starting in peds I was sure I wouldn't want kids of my own. That was years ago and I was so convinced that I didn't want them, that I didn't even think about the possiblity. I mean, most of my losses affect me too much already, I can't even think about what it would do to me if something happened my own child. I don't...", Arizona trailed off and was holding back tears.

I took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. "But Arizona", I started, she wanted to interrupt me, but I wouldn't let her and continued: "do you really want to have your life ruled by your fears? Yes, I know, you see many bad things happen. But what about the joy? You always told me about it. The joy when you give them their whole lives back. You are strong, Arizona. You're a, I think the term that Callie used was, good man in the storm." She looked at me with a mixture of shock and surprise.

"Callie told me how you stood up to her father. I know you have issues with authorities, but still you stood up to him, you faced your fears for her. And wasn't it worth it?"

"Well, yeah, but..", Arizona started, looking for the right words. "It's not the same", she finished in a feeble attempt. She was quick to continue. "It's not just that. It's also because of my brother. He died in Iraq a few years ago. I saw how it changed my parents. They are only slowly now starting to live their lives again, but I'm afraid a part of them died with him."

"It's always hard to loose a kid. But they have each other and they have you. I bet your parents are just as strong as you are. If they can get past something like that, that would mean that you could too. Don't you think you and Callie could overcome anything?"

Although her expression was still sad, I saw her lips twich into a small smile. But it vanished again soon and instead her face showed various emotions. Sadness, confusion, and... regret?

"But there's more. I'm selfish. No, Teddy, don't look at me like that. I _am_ selfish. And I don't mind being selfish. I mean, I'm a doctor. I save kids all day, I deserve to be a little selfish. I spend my entire day around kids and I was always happy to come home and just spend time with adults. And Callie and I, we... we were in a good place. I didn't want that to change. I didn't want my life to change, because I like it the way it is. And kids.. kids change everything. And I'm.. I'm selfish. I didn't want to change. We were good and I.."

"Arizona", I tried to stop her rambling but she just kept on going. "Arizona!", my voice was stern now. "That can't be it! You didn't want your life to change? Are you kidding me? Look around, Arizona. Your life has changed. You can't stop that from happening. You are telling me reasons for not having kids, but those reasons can't be it. I mean, I get that you see what happens to people when they loose a child and that you are afraid of that, but like I said: You and Callie, you could overcome anything! I mean, did you even think about the possibility to have kids with Callie? Did you even think this through? Please, tell me you didn't leave Callie without thinking this through!"

She looked at me, now mostly shocked. She opened her mouth to reply something, but then closed it again. Finally she was able to form words: "Of course. I.. I mean.. I love Callie! I just thought.." She looked down, as if she were ashamed.

"I always wondered if I was who she wanted or I just happened to be there, so she was with me. Unconsciously I always waited for her to tell me that I wasn't enough. And then when she told me that she wanted to have kids, something inside of me just snapped. And I thought, 'okay, this is it. This is a deal breaker.' I wanted to avoid the topic. I had talked about kids with two other women before and it didn't end well. But then she kept pushing the topic. And instead of asking me why I didn't want kids, she just assumed things. That made me so mad, that I almost drove her away. Then she said, she didn't want kids, and I thought she meant it. I mean, I wanted to think that she meant it. It would have been perfect." She paused her rambling. The she looked up from her doughnuts, tears in her eyes and almost yelled: "She never asked!"

"I mean, I thought about it. Callie told me once to picture a baby, and I.. I see babies all the time and I never felt a connection to them. And she told me about how great it would be to hold it and I mean, yeah, they are cute, but..."

"Arizona! I wasn't asking if you were thinking about any kids. I was asking if you thought about having kids with Callie." She looked at me confused so I explained. "Don't imagine any of your kids from the NICU. Okay, um.. imagine a little girl. Black hair, tanned skind and beautiful dark brown eyes, just like Callie's. She's running around in your house with heelys..."

_**Arizona's POV**_

_She never asked! She never made me think about why I didn't want to have children in the first place! _I was sitting there, shocked at that realization. Trying to explain to Teddy, as much as to myself, why I didn't want kids.

But Teddy tore down all my arguments and it seemed to make sense. Now she was telling me about kids. But not just about any kids. She was talking about Calliope's kids.

"...running around in your house with heelys." I smiled at that thought. Callie would never allow that. Although she admitted that she thought it was cute that I wore them, she hated them. She always told me that one day I would end up in the ER because of them.

"She would be just as annoyingly perky as you. And then, think about a little boy, blue eyes, dimples, your blonde hair." I swallowed hard and closed my eyes as she described him. I could picture this little boy easily. He reminded me of my dead brother.

"He would show everybody how strong and hardcore he is, but when no one else is around he would come in your and Callie's bed at night when there is a thunderstorm outside."

_**Teddy's POV**_

As I told Arizona how I pictured their children, she closed her eyes. Tears where streaming down her face, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. Despite the tears she was smiling and it was the most genuine smile I had seen from her in weeks.

As I continued her crying increased and soon light sobs were shaking her body. I got up and sat next to her, taking her in my arms. I stopped talking, thinking I had made my point.

"No, don't stop, please", she pleaded, so I continued.

"And when Callie is in the hospital you would give them ice cream for dinner because, let's face it Arizona, you can't cook." I heard a short laughter through her sobs. "And you would tell the kids not to tell Callie but Callie would know anyway. And Callie would buy them everything they want and more. Designer baby clothes, a pony for their sixth birthday, a chauffeur for their thirteenth. And you would tell her to stop, because you don't want your kids to be spoiled, but secretly you'd love that she can't say no to them. Neither could you by the way, because they would be smart, just like their mommies. And they would know how to make you do everything they want you to. And then when they grow up they'll be doctors, or lawyers, or clowns." She laughed out again. "And you would love them, no matter what they do with their lives because they would be your kids, Arizona. Your's and Callie's."

Arizona's crying had stopped, her eyes were still closed and a smile graced her features. She looked at peace and genuinely happy. I had to admit, I was more than just a little proud of myself.

But suddenly she jumped up. "No!", she all but yelled. "Oh, no! No, no, no!" I was completely caught off guard. _What did just happen?_

"Arizona? Arizona! What's wrong?" But she seemed like she didn't hear me. She started pacing in the small coffee shop. When the owner shot her an evil glare I quickly put some money on the table and pulled her outside.

_**Arizona's POV**_

Pictures of little kids that looked like Calliope and my brother were playing in my mind. And for the first time in I don't know how long I wasn't scared at the thought of having children. At first I didn't even realize that I was smiling. But when I did my smile grew even bigger. I wasn't scared anymore. I mean, yes, the thought that something could happen to them was still terrifying. But Teddy was right, Callie and I were strong. Together, we could do anything. Teddy had stopped talking, but the images of the kids were still there. Mine and Callie's children. _Mmmm.. Callie. My Calliope._ _Oh shit! Calliope!_

I jumped up in sudden realization. "No!" Reality came crashing down. _I'm too late! _I had walked away from her. She needed me and I walked away. _Arizona Robbins! You are stupid, stupid, stupid! _I hadn't even realized that Teddy had dragged me out of the coffee shop. I paced, cursing myself for taking so long to realize that having children with Callie wasn't a bad thing at all. Now it was too late. I had walked away from her while she was laying in a freaking hospital bed with a freaking gun shot wound!

A sudden pain brought me out of my thoughts. I stared at Teddy in shock.

"Did you just... slap me?"

"Well.. yeah. I'm really sorry, and in my defense I really tried talking to you first but you wouldn't listen. Then I pinched your arm, but you didn't even flinch", she replied sheepishly.

I raised my hand to my face. I had never been slapped before and I was surprised by how much it actually hurt.

"Are you going to tell me why you freaked out?"

"I.. umm.. because of Callie", I answered absentmindedly, still a little starled by the fact that she had slapped me.

"I figured that much. I'm afraid you have to be a little more specific."

I went to the next bench and slumped down on it. "What shall I do, Teddy?", I asked her defeatedly. She just looked at me in confusion.

"I mean about Callie. I can't just go there and tell her I changed my mind. After fighting about it for weeks, after walking away from her when she needed me. How could she possibly forgive me? I wouldn't even fogive myself. Hell, I can't forgive myself for being so stupid. What I did.. it is inexcusable. And now that I realize, that I want to be with her. That I want to have a life and a family with her.. it is too late."

Teddy placed a hand on my shoulder. "Arizona, I don't think it's too late. Yes, I have to admit, what you did was unbelievably stupid. But Callie still loves you, otherwise she wouldn't be so miserable. Just go there. Make her see how sorry you are. Show her how much you love and need her. Talk to her about having kids. I am sure, she will forgive you."

I looked up at her. "How do I do that?"

"Well, that's easy." She smiled down at me. "Just be yourself again."


	11. Part XI

**A/N: **So, my friends just left and now I have about 10 more hours before my flight leaves. I have planned two more parts after this one and I haven't finished them yet. And I still need to finish packing... Yep, this is going to be a short night. Anyway... I really had fun writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

In case someone hasn't noticed yet. I have no medical knowledge. I try to google some stuff, but most of it is just freedom of art. Just so you know...

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything.

* * *

Part XI

_**Callie's POV**_

The next time I woke up, everything was dark. My eyes were burning from all my crying, my throat and mouth were dry and my shoulder hurt like hell. I looked around, only to find that I was alone. _I'm alone, I'm all alone._

Suddenly the door opened and someone turned on the light. I was instantly blinded and closed my eyes.

"Oh, great, you're up!", a cheery voice said from the door. Then I heard the owner of the voice coming closer to the bed. I had recognized the voice instantly. _I must be hallucinating, _I told myself. But then the voice spoke up again.

"So, I've heard you're refusing to take any pain meds. That's really stupid, Calliope. You're a doctor. You should know better."

I opened one eye slowly. She couldn't be here. Not after they way she left the last time. But there she was, standing in front of me and smiling her beautiful dimple smile. Illuminated by the light she looked like an angel.

I closed my eyes again. I didn't want her here. I didn't want to see her. She was just going to leave me again and I couldn't stand that. Why would she torture me like this? Showing me how it could be, and then leave again? Just like she did earlier.

I tried to tell her to go away, but my mouth was too dry to speak.

She chuckled softly. "That's what happens when you don't drink enough. Here." I guessed she wanted to give me some water, but I ignored her and her way too perky voice. _How can she be like that and just act like nothing happened?_

"Aww, Calliope. Don't be like that." Although I didn't see her, I knew she pouted. "Just take a sip, you'll feel better afterwards, I promise."

I highly doubted that. I opened my mouth to tell her, forgetting that I was trying to ignore her. Again, no words left my mouth, instead she used the opportunity and placed the straw in my mouth. At first I thought about just spitting it out again, but then I realized she was kind of right. I didn't drink anything today and all the crying had dehydrated my body. Slowly I took two sips, cringing internally to give her that little victory.

My eyes were still closed but I was sure she was still smiling. She removed the straw from my lips before quickly pressing hers against mine in a chaste kiss.

My eyes shot open. _Did she just kiss me? _But when my eyes focused on her she was already standing up straight again.

"See, all better", she said, her smile growing even bigger.

I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. While I did so she slid a chair next to me and sat down, her eyes never leaving me.

"What are you doing here?", I asked. I was glad that actual words came out of my mouth this time.

"Well, I'm here to bring you some food."

"Arizona!", I groaned angrily. Couldn't she be serious?

"Mark told me you haven't eaten anything yet", she continued, just ignoring my objection. "And since the hospital food here is really yucky I just brought you some take out." She placed a plastic bag on the table next to my bed. It smelled delicious and my stomach started growling.

"I'm not hungry."

"You're lying", her response was quick. She took out a fork and started stirring around the food.

"Here, take a bite", she said, holding the full fork in front of my mouth. I shook my head. I wasn't going to give in to her again.

"Come on, Callie. You need to eat."

"No!", I said, careful not to open my mouth too much.

"Uh.. Yeah. Seriously, you don't wanna mess with me. I thought you know that by now." She smiled her famous dimple smile.

I stared at her angrily, but slowly opened my mouth. _Damn dimples. _

She happily continued feeding me, occasionally stealing a bite for herself. I ate slowly, hardly looked at her and I most certainly didn't talk to her. But she didn't seem to mind.

"So, have you heard the newest gossip?" She paused shortly, waiting for a reply, when she didn't get one she just continued. "Lexie told Alex she loved him. It's quite funny when you think about it because you are one of the last ones to know it, but you were actually there when she told him. You just were unconscious at the time." She laughed softly.

_Did she seriously just make a joke about me being shot?_

"Anyway. Mark was there too. I really feel sorry for him. He's such a good guy."

I almost choked on my food. _Mark? A good guy? Is Arizona on drugs or something?_ But I still didn't say anything.

"You want some more water?", Arizona asked as she heard my cough and held the straw to my mouth again. I hated to admit it, but she really did take good care of myself. After I took a few sips she put it away again and continued with her story.

"But you haven't heard the best part yet. Or best is probably the wrong word. The most shocking part. Yep, that's better. So, when Alex thought he was going to die, he was calling out for Izzy."

Now I did choke on my food. I coughed hard and spit it out. I regretted it instantly because it landed on my lap. Arizona took a napkin and cleaned it up. I leaned back and tried to suppress a moan as she touched me softly. I couldn't believe how much of an effect she had on me, even when there were two layers of clothing between us. I heard her chuckling and shot her an evil look.

When she was done she sat down again and kept talking, as if nothing had happened.

"And well, you know Lexie. She pretended to be Izzy and she comforted him. Ohh.. Ohh..." She sounded really excited about it. "And now, that really is the best part, actually I'm not sure for who, but it's not bad for Mark. Anyway, I've heard some nurses talking. They said that the shooter was a man named Gary Clark. His wife died and he wanted to take revenge on her doctors. One of them was Lexie. Lexie found out about this before she said Alex she loved him. Now, I was thinking, maybe she didn't mean it. Maybe she..."

I couldn't stand it any longer. She was here, acting like nothing had happened and it drove me insane. I was still so mad at her.

"Arizona!", I interrupted her. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? I'm here to take care of you, silly."

"Earlier you didn't seem to..."

"Oh, which reminds me. You should really take your pain meds."

"Arizona, don't change the subject!", I yelled at her.

"Calliope", she tilted her head and looked at me like I was ten years old and had eaten candy before dinner. "Can you look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you're not in pain right now?"

I wanted to scream at her. Tell her that I only felt the pain she had caused. Before I could even open my mouth she continued.

"I talked to your physical therapist earlier. He said you should really take something. He'll come back tomorrow to start the therapy. After all, we'll need to work hard so you can regain full control and a full range of motion again."

When I thought about it, the idea of some morphine didn't sound so bad. Maybe then I could evade her company. With every passing second it was harder to stay mad at her. I still loved her after all, but I couldn't be with her if she didn't feel the same way. So I needed to stay mad.

"Fine, give me some morphine", I grunted.

"Morphine? I was thinking more like Methadone", she tried to argue.

"I want 4 doses of morphine."

"Calliope, you don't need that much", she tried to reason with me.

"Arizona! Give me the morphine or just leave!"

Arizona looked at me silently for a while, then she got up and added the morphine to my IV.

I leaned back on the pillows, closed my eyes and waited for the morphine to kick in.

_**Arizona's POV**_

I didn't really approve of giving her that much morphine, but I could understand why she wanted it. That much morphine would make her high and she would be out soon. She would forget everything that will happen until she wakes up again.

I knew she was mad at me. I had expected it. And I knew I had a lot of explaining to do. But I didn't want to talk to her about everything yet. I wanted her to get slightly better before that. Also I wanted to show, rather than tell, her how much I love her.

While she rested her head back on the pillows and closed her eyes I sat down again and finished her food. I was surprised by how hungry I was. I didn't eat anything for more than 24 hours and the 10 doughnuts today weren't that filling.

After Teddy had finally knocked some sense into me I had gone home. I took a long shower and thought about what I was going to do. Teddy's advise, with just being myself again had helped a lot. Ever since Callie had started talking about babies I didn't act like myself anymore. It really was time for a rebirth of the old Arizona Robbins. And the new old Arizona Robbins had decided to be there for Callie. No matter what the brunette would say or do. I would not back down.

As I sat there and ate I never took my eyes off of Callie. It didn't take long for the drugs to kick in. Soon Callie started shifting around. From time to time she opened an eye as if too look if I was still there. When she spotted me still sitting in the chair she closed the eye again and let out an annoyed groan.

After a while I got up and sat down on the sofa on the other side of her bed. The next time she looked for me she was surprised to not find me sitting in the chair. She opened both of her eyes and sat up groggily. I couldn't help but giggle. She was just too cute. She spun around and shot me an evil look, that looked more like she had bitten into something really sour.

"You're still here", she said matter of factly.

"I am", I replied in exact the same tone. She grunted again and let herself fall back on the bed.

"Why?", she asked after a while. I got up and walked to stand next to her bed.

"You know, when I tell you now, you won't remember it tomorrow, right?"

"I know. Tell me anyway", Callie slurred because of the drugs. Callie always was impatient, so it didn't surprise me that she wanted to know now. Still, I hesitated. Was it fair to her when I tell her everything now, and she won't remember it but I will?

"I'm sure, Arizona", Callie said, as if she was reading my thoughts.

I sat down on her bed next to her knees. "How about we make a deal", I offered. "I'll tell you why I'm here. But you won't say anything in response."

She thought about it for a while. "Deal."

"Okay. First of all I wanted to say that I am sorry. I am sorry for leaving you like I did today. You were hurt and you needed me and I just left. I am sorry." She opened her mouth to answer but then remembered our deal and just nodded.

Relief washed through my body as I continued: "I am here because I still love you, Calliope. And I always will. I still don't believe that you don't want to have children, but.." I stopped myself. Then I decided to tell her this little piece of information not until tomorrow, when she could remember it. "But I believe that we can work through this. I promise you, we will get through it." At that she grabbed my left hand and held it tight.

"I am here to take care of you. I am here to make you better. I am here to repair what I've broken. I am also here because I know you need me. And I am here because poor Mark really needed a shower." We both laughed at that. Her laughter almost turned into a full laughing fit. _Man, those drugs really have an effect on her. _But she stopped laughing when she saw my serious expression.

"But most of all, I am here because I love you so much. I need you so much. I am here because I _want_ to be here. I want to be here, with you, today, tomorrow and every following day. I want to be with you forever and I want to marry you." She looked at me shocked but composed herself quickly.

"Arizo-...", she began but I quickly lay a finger on her lips, effectively silencing her.

"No talking, Calliope! And I am not proposing to you, not yet anyways. I want to do that when you can answer without being influenced by drugs. But I do love you and I do want to marry you. And I hope you want to marry me too. No, don't say anything! Callie, I mean it, shut up." She was this close to saying something but I covered her mouth with my whole hand. "Calliope, you promised." I looked at her sternly. She tried to stare me down, but that had no effect on me. Finally she gave up and rolled her eyes. I slowly removed my hand from her mouth.

I was just about to tell her how cute she looked when she was on drugs, as she pulled me closer and pressed her lips against mine. Instantly I lost myself in the kiss. It was slow and full of emotions. When I pulled away she kept her eyes closed. She smiled and it was the silliest smile I had ever seen on her. Maybe it was just the drugs, or maybe it was because of me. I really hoped it was the latter. I quickly pulled off my heelys and snuggled up next to her and waited for her to fall asleep.

_I really hope she is just as forgiving when she's not on drugs._


	12. Part XII

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything.

* * *

Part XI

_**Mark's POV**_

"Callie." I tapped her lightly on her good shoulder to wake her up but she just groaned.

"Come on, Callie. Wake up." When she didn't respond I shook her softly.

"Callie!"

"What?", she grunted. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. "Oh, thank god, Mark. It's you."

"Hey! How are you?", I asked. She looked better than when I left her yesterday.

"Umm.. the pain in my shoulder is better."

"Huh.. must be because of the morphine", I told her.

"Yeah", she replied absentmindedly. Her eyes searched the room until she found Arizona sleeping on the sofa. She signed.

"What is she doing here, Mark?"

I looked over to where Arizona was laying.

"Well, it looks like she's sleeping", I told Callie.

"Mark, you're not helping!", she groaned. "I can't believe it. I mean, she doesn't want kids, she doesn't want me to change. She walked away yesterday, only to come back a few hours later like nothing had happened. She was all perky and cheery and.. herself. She completely avoided talking about our situation" Callie looked at me again.

"But I don't want her here. Not if that means, I can't truly be with her. I mean.. I can't just be friends with her and I can't have her walking away again. I want to be with her so bad."

"Well, maybe she wants to be with you too."

"Why would she have walked away then after I told her I wanted to be with her rather than having kids?"

"I don't know Callie. Why don't you ask Arizona?"

"Ask me what?", I heard Arizona's sleepy voice. We looked at Callie expectantly.

"Nothing", she mumbled out.

"Okay", Arizona let the topic drop. She skipped over to the bed happily. It was kind of scary that she could muster so much perkiness.

"Good morning, Calliope", she said and leaned forward to kiss Callie but Callie turned her head away. Arizona hesitated shortly, then shrugged her shoulders and just kissed Callie on the cheek instead. I really had to hold back a laughter at that.

"Hey, Mark." She turned to me. "How are things going with Lexie?"

"I.. uhh.." I stuttered caught off guard. I could understand Callie now. Arizona acted like nothing ever happened. "She still hasn't left Karev's bedside."

"Oh.. Well. She'll come around." She smiled at me comfortingly.

"Arizona!", Callie's voice was beyond annoyed. "What are you doing?"

Arizona looked at Callie in shock. "What? I'm just telling Mark the truth. Do you really think she loves Karev?"

I stared at Arizona in shock. Then I laughed out loud. She was really good at avoiding things. Callie stared at me angrily and Arizona confused.

"I.. uhh.. How about I leave you two alone. I just wanted to check up on Callie, and since you're fine, I can go.. now." I was about to turn around, but Callie grabbed my hand.

"No, Mark. Please, don't leave", she pleaded. Her eyes flickered to Arizona, as if she wanted to say 'don't leave me alone with her'.

Arizona had seen it of course, but she just smiled at me, revealing her dimples. The blonde kept surprising me again and again. "Yeah, Mark. Please stay", she said sincerely. "The physical therapist should come soon, and Calliope will need support."

Callie was about to reply something but as on cue the physical therapist entered the room. He stopped when he saw that Callie had company.

"I can come back later, if you are busy", he offered. Again, Callie was about to answer, but this time she was interrupted by Arizona.

"No, it's fine. I was just about to leave anyway." _Wow, that was unexpected._

"You were?", Callie asked. Her voice somewhere between hope, relief, anger and sadness.

"Well, yeah. It's almost lunch time and I don't want you to have to eat this hospital food. So I thought I'm just gonna pick up something. You know, I would cook something, but I don't want to extend your hospital stay any longer by poisoning you." She laughed.

"Arizona, you..", Callie started, only to be cut off once again.

"I was thinking pizza? You know from this one pizza place around the corner from my apartment. They really have the best pizza there."

Callie gave up and laid her head back on the pillows. "Whatever", she mumbled.

"Super. I'll see you later then", Arizona chirped, kissed Callie on the cheek again and was out the door before I knew it. I stared after her until the therapist's voice brought me out of my trance.

"You really have a good friend there", he told Callie, completely oblivious to what was really going on. Callie just grunted.

The therapist only stayed for half an hour. He said that since we all were doctors we could start with the therapy on our own, until the wound was better and Callie could start with the harder stuff.

Arizona wasn't back with the pizza yet, which gave us time to talk about her.

"Did you see what I mean?", she asked as soon as the therapist was out the door.

"Hell, yeah. That was almost scary!", I replied. "But.."

"But? There is no 'but', Mark. I mean, she just comes here, being all happy and perky, and yesterday she didn't even care enough to ask how I was. I don't get it, and she doesn't want to talk about it."

"Yeah, but how could you talk about it, when I'm around? I mean, have you tried talking to her?"

"Of course! Didn't you see what she did earlier. Whenever I ask her why she is here she just changed the topic or simply ignores it. I am so mad at her but it seems like she doesn't even care."

"You know what, Callie. When she comes back I'm gonna leave you two alone and you make her talk to you. If you want me to, I could.." I wanted to tell her that I would lock the door to make Arizona talk, but at that moment the door opened and Arizona stepped in, followed by the delicious smell of pizza. _Right on cue._

"So, I'll leave you two then. Maybe you can... talk." I looked at Arizona while saying this. I got up and wanted to leave the room, but Arizona was still standing in the doorway and showed no sign of moving.

"You're leaving? But I brought you pizza too." She smiled and handed me a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, my favorite.

"I.. uhh.. I.." I looked between Callie and the pizza. _They can still talk later, _I told myself. "Thank you, Arizona."

We all sat down and Arizona started talking about everything that came to her mind. After a while I participated in the conversation, while Callie was silent the whole time. In the end Arizona and I argued over our favorite hockey teams. We had long finished our pizza and to me it almost seemed as if everything was back to normal.

Well, almost. Callie did nothing to hide her anger and annoyance. Eventually she cleared her throat, which caused an awkward silence. Callie stared at me and I instantly realized that it was time for me to go. I jumped up.

"Thanks again for the pizza, Arizona. But I really have to go, check on Lexie and stuff, you know? Anyways. Bye", I sputtered out and left quickly before anyone could say anything else.

_**Callie's POV**_

"Well, that was awkward", Arizona said laughing as soon as Mark left. I snorted. _Is she really that ignorant? She's the one making it awkward._

She got up. "Did you like your pizza?", she asked while cleaning up what was left of our lunch. I didn't respond.

"So, you wanna play checkers or scrabble? I brought some games from home to distract you a little from the pain in your shoulder."

"No, Arizona. I don't wanna play games!" _anymore. _I told her angrily. She was really driving me nuts.

"Okay, Calliope. What do you want to do instead? We could watch TV or we could talk.."

"Oh, so now you wanna talk?"

"In case you haven't noticed, honey. I have been talking all day. You are the one who just sat there silent like a fish", she replied. I cringed when she called me honey. It reminded me of the good times when we were together.

"I don't mean chatting about meaningless stuff, Arizona. I want to know what you are doing here. I mean, first you walk away and then you come back later, acting like nothing had happened!" Tears were starting to form in my eyes. At least her smile had disappeared. Maybe she would be serious.

"Yeah. I am sorry for that. I really am", she told me genuinely. For a second I thought that maybe she had changed her mind. That maybe she would believe me when I told her, that I didn't want to have kids. But then she added: "I still don't believe you, by the way." And there it was. She would leave again because she still didn't believe me that she was enough for me.

"Then why are you here? Why would you show me how it could be only to leave again later? You know what? You can leave now!", I yelled.

She however remained calm. "I am here because I love you, Calliope. I always have and I always will. And I am not going to leave again. Just listen to me, okay?" _Huh, as if I would be able to say something right now. Yeah, that's right. I, Callie Torres, am speechless._ I hadn't expected that. I had hoped that she would still love me, but I was still surprised. So I just nodded.

"Yesterday, when I found out that you were shot, my world collapsed. I don't believe I could be able to live in a world where you didn't exist. And then when you made it off the table I was so happy. But at the same time I was sad, because I knew that we couldn't be together. You still wanted kids and I didn't. And even if all I wanted to do was be there for you and hold you, I couldn't. Because I knew that it wouldn't last. We wanted different things. And I thought I should walk away then because it would hurt even more with every minute that we would be together. So I did. I walked away because I didn't believe that you don't want kids. And I still don't believe it. A few weeks ago you told me the exact same things. That you don't need kids to be happy. But you do, Calliope. And deep down you know that."

I swallowed hard as I nodded. She was right. I wanted her so bad, but I wanted kids too. There was an internal struggle going on inside of me and it was tearing me apart.

"Then why are you here? What happened? What has changed?", I asked her. Hoping, praying to god, that something had changed.

"Teddy happened", she just replied.

"What?" Was she saying what I thought she was saying. _Teddy? Arizona and Teddy? But then why is she here?_

"She found me yesterday after I had walked away", Arizona quickly continued. "She talked to me and she made me realize something. She convinced me of something I always knew. That together we could overcome anything. And Callie, that made me realize that having kids is not a bad thing, like, at all. And I want to be with you forever and I want to have a family with you. Because I love you so much and I can't live without you or our ten kids.."

I couldn't believe my ears. After we fought for weeks and even broke up, now she realized that kids aren't a bad thing? _Are you kidding me?_

"You said you didn't want any kids! I mean, we talked about it and you always said you didn't want any, and now you just changed your mind? After everything.."

But she stopped my ranting before it even really started: "Calliope, I don't want _any_ kids. I only want yours."

I was speechless again. She sat there in her chair and was smiling at me and nodding her head to convince me of the sincerity of her words, just like the first time we met.

"Do you.. Do you mean that?", I finally stuttered out.

"Yes, Calliope. Yes, I mean it. And I am so sorry that it took me so long to realize that and.. CALLIOPE! What are you doing?", she yelled out in shock as I jumped out of my bed at her words. In a matter of seconds I was right in front of her and my lips found hers. I couldn't believe it. All my anger at her was gone and all that was left was pure love and joy.

After she had gotten over her shock she kissed me back hungrily. It felt so good to finally be near her again. To finally feel her again.

After what seemed like an eternity we pulled away, needing oxygen. "I love you too", I told her, "so much." She kissed me again but pulled away quickly. I groaned frustrated.

"I love you, Callie", she told me, "But you are hurt and as much as I would like to continue this, and believe me, I would really like that. I think you should get back in your bed."

"Only if you join me", I replied and started pulling her with me.

"Always", she whispered as she laid down next to me and snuggled into me closely. I still couldn't believe it. It felt like I was dreaming. I closed my eyes and breathed in her smell. I had missed it so much. I had missed everything about her. I was about to fall asleep when she spoke again.

"Uhh.. Calliope?"

"Yes?", I asked, curious what she was thinking.

"Do you want to play checkers now?"


	13. Part XIII

**A/N: **Hey everybody. Here is the last chapter! I know, it's short. But there really isn't much more to add to this story.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything!

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Part XIII

Epilouge – two weeks later

_**Callie's POV**_

„My hand hurts", I whined. Arizona turned around to look at me.

"What? Why? I told you you shouldn't overwork it again. The physical therapist said.."

"Not that hand. The other hand, Arizona. You know, the one you held onto the last 10 hours." Arizona looked up at me guiltily. "I can't believe I didn't know you were afraid of flying", I continued.

"It's not something I'm proud of", Arizona muttered. But as we stepped out of the airport she lightened up again. "But this is totally worth it, don't you think?"

I grunted. "That's easy for you to say. You're not the one with the broken hand." She shot me an evil glare. "Okay, I admit it. Totally worth it." And it really was.

A few hours later we sat at the private beach behind the house we rented on Fiji for the next three weeks.

"I missed the sun sooo much", I signed happily. Life couldn't be any better right now.

Arizona sat next to me in a sexy bikini, applying sun screen. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. In Seattle bikinis were never needed but I wouldn't mind Arizona wearing bikinis all day. But I wouldn't mind Arizona wearing nothing at all either.

"Don't forget the sun screen, Calliope", Arizona reminded me.

"No, thanks. I don't need that. I never had a sunburn in my life."

Arizona looked at me in disbelieve. "Really?"

"Really", I confirmed. At that Arizona mumbled something. All I could understand was 'unfair' and 'pale'. I laughed softly. I had really missed her. The time we were apart was the worst in my life. The last two weeks were like a dream. Everything was perfect. My right arm healed well and Arizona and I had talked about everything. Our mistakes, our past, our future. Well, almost everything. There was one thing she hadn't addressed since the night after the shooting.

"Penny for your thoughts."

I looked at Arizona again. "I'm just thinking how perfect my life is right now."

Arizona smiled her dimple revealing smile as she got up and sat down on my lap before kissing me deeply.

"I love you", she whispered after she pulled away. Then she started trailing kisses across my jar to my neck and softly sucked on it.

"I love you too, Arizona." My mouth was directly next to her ear as I whispered my next words. "And just for the record: I want to marry you too."

She instantly tensed up. Then she leaned back to look into my eyes. I could see her blushing slightly.

"You remember that?", she finally chocked out.

I just nodded before pulling her into another kiss. Soon oxygen became a problem and we broke the kiss. I instantly started kissing up her jaw to her ear. She moaned as I softly bit into her earlobe.

"Bedroom, now!", she ordered, already pulling me up. I happily obeyed. _Yes, life was perfect._

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**A/N 2:** Thank you, to everybody who read this story till the end. Also thank you for all the awesome reviews! I already have a few new ideas that I will probably start writing as soon as I am back from Rome. Now I'm off to bed because I have to get up in less than 3 hours already to go to the airport. Good night!


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